Thursday, 25 May 2017

Cassiterite Is A Stone Of Balance, Manifestation & Grounding

Cassiterite

Learn how Cassiterite helps to bring Divine light into your body from the source of all that is. This is a powerful crystal for manifestation, that aids beginnings and endings, easing life and death.



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Mooncycle goddess kit This beautiful healing kit is made...



Mooncycle goddess kit This beautiful healing kit is made to aid you on your sacred time of your mooncycle. It comes with a womb wellness tea, womb healing massage oil, a womb healing crystal, and a womb healing crystal elixir aromatherapy spray. Available to purchase at my Etsy store - PurplelotusSpiritual #priestess #moonmother #moonmothermiami #wombhealing #wombblessing #womenempowerment #wombwellnessmiami #wombwellness #wombwellnesscentermiami #miami #miamilife #divinefeminine #divinefeminineenergy #divinefemininemiami #divinefemininerising #sacredfeminine #spiritual #spiritualhealer #spiriualhealing #spiritualhealingmiami #spiriualhealingcentermiami #shakti #shaman #wellness #om #namaste



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Brand new Buddha mala available on my Etsy shop-...



Brand new Buddha mala available on my Etsy shop- Purplelotusspiritual this mala aids in grounding balance and protection. Made from olive wood, tigers eye and black obsidian. #etsyshop #etsysellersofinstagram #buddha #mala #japameditation #yoga #yogi #yogamiami #yogini #miami #miamilife #miamiyoga #meditation #meditationmiami #mantra #priestess #energyhealing #metaphysical #metaphysicaljewelry #yogajewelry #yogainspiration #yogajourney #spiritual #spiritualhealer #spiriualhealing #spiritualhealingmiami #spiriualhealingcentermiami #lightworker #lifestylemiami #crystaljade #crystalhealing #crystalhealer #om #namaste



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Happy Thursday! #affirmation #healing #moonmother...



Happy Thursday! #affirmation #healing #moonmother #moonmothermiami #spiritual #spiritualhealingmiami #spiriualhealingcentermiami #spiriualhealing #spiritualhealer #spiritual #reiki #yoga #yogamiami #meditation #meditationmiami #womenempowerment #wombblessing #wombhealing #wombwellnessmiami #goddess #divinefeminine #sacredfeminine #priestess #miami #miamilife #om #namaste



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Music Coloring Page from Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal

Hi everyone! This is my fifth week sharing coloring pages from the soon-to-be-released Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal (available for pre-order now.) Previously, I shared:

How would you answer the question in the middle?

It’s hard to narrow down my favorite music, as I imagine is true for most of us. But there are certain songs that are particularly meaningful to me because of the memories they evoke, including:

1. Wonderwall, by Oasis (which I played on repeat, with friends, for much of my sophomore year of high school)

2. The whole soundtrack to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (because I was in the children’s choir in a performance with Donnie Osmond for several months during my senior year)

3. So This is Christmas, by John Lennon (one of my favorite holiday songs, and the finale number of one of the most memorable regional shows I did in college)

4. Mad World (the song my boyfriend sang at karaoke the night we met, a song I already loved from Donnie Darko)

5. Cheer Up, Sleepy Jean (a song we often sing to commemorate my late grandmother Jeanne, when my aunt pulls out the karaoke machine)

6. Sweet Caroline (a song I’ve sung while jumping many times at karaoke, and a few times with fellow Red Sox fans near my hometown in Massachusetts)

7. Pretty much everything from The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, Coldplay, RadioheadDavid Gray, and Ray LaMontagne, for far too many reasons to list.

Now I’d like to hear from you! What songs and musicians do you most appreciate, and why?

If you haven’t already, pre-order your copy of Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal here, and you’ll instantly receive three free bonus gifts!

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. Her latest bookTiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal is available for pre-order now. For daily wisdom, follow Tiny Buddha on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram..

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Why Surrendering to Life is the Key to Positive Change

“Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” ~Eckhart Tolle

“Surrender” in current colloquial language equals failure. According to the Oxford Dictionary, without an object, surrender means to “stop resisting to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.” With an object, it gets even worse: “Give up or hand over (a person, right, or possession), typically on compulsion or demand.”

How then can surrender be the key to joy? How can it be winning?

At age thirty, I was defeated by life. Down for the count. But, I did not get back up on my feet until I surrendered.

I had led a charmed life until then. I got into every college to which I applied and went to my top choice. I graduated summa cum laude and got into a similarly impressive grad school, where I also graduated at the top of my class.

After a White House internship, I landed a job at a top investment bank and had moved to an equally prestigious consulting firm. I had lived in and traveled to dozens of countries. I was a winner.

Or was I? Life had thrown me a string of curveballs: health problems, friend problems, romantic problems, professional problems. While, to an outsider, I might have appeared to be “living the dream,” the “dream” entailed eighty-plus hour workweeks and constant travel. After a few years of this, my life had totally unraveled, and after knowing nothing but success, I encountered nothing but failure.

The stress and over-work likely contributed to a string of illnesses, hospitalizations, and surgeries.

I was exhausted after more than ten years of sleeping on average less than five hours a night, and my weight had yo-yoed drastically.

My partner of three years had left me, telling me, to boot, that it was essentially never “a real thing” to begin with anyway. A second equally intense relationship ended in a similar way.

All of this happened when I was living as far away from my hometown as you can get on the globe, and after being so busy for so long, I had almost no one to turn to where I was living. I was completely untethered.

I just wanted it all to end, to make the pain go away. One day, I literally found myself on the floor with a bottle of pills in my hand, contemplating suicide. I almost followed through, but something happened, or actually, a lot of somethings did.

One of the very first somethings that happened was that I became aware of the self-talk in my head and was able to disassociate from it, listening to it as a separate entity.

Perhaps its most recurring commentary was some version of “this isn’t how it was supposed to happen.” I had achieved so much so early in life and worked so hard. I should have been rich. Happy. Successful. Instead, I was a mess.

It was all these “shoulds” that almost killed me because they left me stuck in a mental construct of my own making, set up in opposition to what was actually happening.

At the beginning of a long recovery process, perhaps the key moment came when I was able, however briefly at first, to occupy a reality without these shoulds and instead face whatever was at that particular moment.

It was only later that I was able to grasp the significance of that first moment of surrender. Surrender is not giving up on life but giving up fighting with life. And, when you’re not fighting with it, you’re working with life.

At first, our moral sense is offended by this. In a totally just world, there are a lot of things that should be. People should be nice to each other. Good things should happen to good people. But, if we take this to its logical conclusion, we’re all born innocent, so shouldn’t everyone just get what he or she wants? Shouldn’t only good things happen to everyone?

Beyond the facts that what is “good” is often in the eye of the beholder, and the “goodness” of what appears to be a “bad” or painful or unfair event is often not revealed until later, all of these good things that should happen are far beyond our control.

However, there are a lot of shoulds we can control. We can control our own actions and reactions (while of course allowing ourselves to err). We can act in this world how we should according to our own convictions.

This is how surrendering, far from waving the white flag, becomes the ultimate tool for empowerment and positive action.

When I was able to stop wallowing in the unfairness of what life dealt me and all of the shoulds that never came to be, my mind was free from the rumination and recrimination that led me into that deep state of depression.

When I stopped fighting with my situation, my scope and options for positive action became clear, and at that point I was in full control of the little space in life that I actually could control—me.

I stopped questioning the situation in which I found myself. Some of it was unfair, the result of what I took to be other peoples’ unjust actions, but at the same time, a lot of it was the result of my own actions, as well as pure chance. While I learned some lessons looking backward, the key to my recovery was accepting where I was and look forward to how to get myself out of it.

My immediate action was to seek help, first from friends and then from a therapist, something I would have previously stigmatized as self-indulgent. Overcoming the shame of that opened the floodgates of what was possible for me, and everything was up for grabs.

Within six months of that, I changed so many of the things that were not working for me—my job, my location and my relationships. I crafted a life that worked for me rather than fighting the one that wasn’t.

By dropping the shoulds, I am now able, in my clear-thinking moments, to act without opposition from life and more quickly move to consider my course of action.
Not only has this been emotionally liberating, but I know I have made countless better decisions as a result. Each day there are a thousand little victories, all thanks to surrender.

The logic neat and simple, but the practice is difficult. I get confused and caught up and stuck, but the state of surrender is progressively becoming more and more of my natural default. Some of the lessons and tips I’ve learned to get to this place that I would recommend:

1. Allow yourself to vent—up to a point.

As imperfect beings, total, ongoing and permanent surrender is unrealistic. We will feel negative emotions about experiences not meeting our expectations, and we need to allow ourselves to feel those feelings. It often helps to express them to a sympathetic ear. To a point.
Venting of negative emotions is useful insofar as it allows us to liberate ourselves of them. However, prolonged or frequent venting can also lend momentum to these feelings. It can actually serve to build up opposition to life by hardening feelings of injury and strengthening those shoulds.

So, pay attention to your venting. Is it releasing the negative energy around opposition to life, or is it adding to that energy? If you’re the one listening to the venting, ask yourself the same question of the person doing it. If the venting is adding to the negative energy of the situation, consider trying to divert that energy toward something positive and creative.

2. Remind yourself that surrender is not giving up.

At the beginning of this blog post I deliberately focused on the commonly used definition and connotations of surrender because of the strong biases language can impart on our subconscious thought.

Prior to my own awakening, my brief forays into new age thinking and the new consciousness had always ended up with me dismissing it all as a bunch of hokey-ness that turned people into vegetables. If they were always just so accepting of what happened, how could they ever actually accomplish anything difficult or messy or complex?

I still sometimes revert back to this thinking, but then I recall: surrender is not giving up on life but on fighting with life. Indeed, not surrendering to reality—questioning the fairness, goodness, or logic of the present moment—is crippling. You’re saying “no” to reality: “No, but that’s not fair! It’s not right!” Okay maybe that’s true, but where can you go from there?

Surrender is saying “yes.” “Yes, I accept that this is a terrible situation, and the way I can make it better is…” This is how surrender becomes the key to taking positive action and frees us from so many of the negative emotions that we strengthen by opposing reality. We don’t say that what’s happening is okay, but we accept that it’s happening and move onto what we can do about it.

3. Be the happy warrior.

It’s something of an oxymoron, but the “happy warrior” tends to be more effective vs. the angry warrior, or, what we see more commonly, the person plodding along with grim determination. In fact, the war imagery probably misses the mark altogether, but we all can relate to the happy warrior type, so let’s stick with it.

When we haven’t surrendered to reality and are still fighting it, negative emotions are inevitable, and we are, by definition, engaging in a futile endeavor. In this case, we become the angry warrior or the grimly determined one. That was me for so many years—I hunkered down, determined to endure all of life’s slings and arrows, all the while missing the joy of the journey.

Maya Angelou once said, “What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.” If you’re still complaining or not accepting the reality, how can you change that reality? You’re probably still stuck in the complaining phase.

That aura of negativity or hopelessness that comes with a failure to surrender is, to be blunt, a real turn off for most people. If you want to be the change you want to see in this world and inspire others to a cause, the angry warrior type is probably not going to work.

This is vitally important in these times of so much social strife, and as fundamental questions of what kind of society we want to be arise every day. Eckhart Tolle has addressed this very point when talking about “angry peace activists” and agents of change.

Think about some of the most socially impactful figures in the last 100 years—Martin Luther King Jr., the Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Mother Theresa—these are happy warriors.

Their optimism was infectious in winning people to the cause, and this optimism stemmed from accepting reality as it was and moving on immediately to the “how do we change this?” phase. They began by surrendering.

Remember the Buddha. While sitting beneath the tree of knowledge, he was able to turn all of Mara’s arrows into flowers and remain in a state of equanimity. In a sense, you too can do that by not turning the obstacles that life puts in your way into personal affronts against you.

When you accept what life gives you—when you surrender—you avoid creating all of the negativity that rejection entails. You do not disrupt your own peace. From that place of peace, you can affect change.

In my journey, I eventually wasn’t able to continue fighting life, brought down into depression by the impact of all of those arrows. Nowadays, I can’t say that I immediately accept all that comes my way, but my willingness to surrender to life, if not turning the arrows into flowers, certainly makes the journey more joyful.

And, when you have joy, you are more likely to achieve the end you seek, or better yet, find peace in the journey regardless of the destination.

It all starts with surrender.

About Joshua Kauffman

Joshua Kauffman is a recovering over-achiever and workaholic. Leaving behind a high-powered life in business, he has become a world traveler, aspiring coach and entrepreneur of pretty things. Amateur author of a recent memoir Footprints Through The Desert, he is trying to find ways to share his awakening experience, particularly to those lost in the rat race like he was.

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spiritualseeker77: If you’re not fitting in, you are AWESOME!!! | Spiritual



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If you’re not fitting in, you are AWESOME!!!



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Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Join me next week for the power of mantras workshop. Learn about...



Join me next week for the power of mantras workshop. Learn about the seed mantras and how use them for manifestation and spiritual growth! Contact me to RSVP! #mantra #bijamantra #yoga #yogi #miami #yogamiami #miamiyoga #meditation #meditationmiami #spiritual #spiriualhealing #spiritualhealer #spiritualhealingmiami #spiriualhealingcentermiami #lightworker #miami #miamilife #priestess #om #namaste



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Seriphos Green Quartz Or Prasem Quartz Have Heavenly Energy!

Seriphos Green Quartz

Seriphos Green Quartz from Greece have heavenly energy. These powerful healing crystals bring joy, release negativity, aid organizational abilities and contact with nature spirits and the angelic realm.



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6 Kutaj Home Remedies: Diarrhea, Ulcerative Colitis, Fever

By Dr MS Krishnamurthy MD(Ayu), PhD Kutaj is known as the best anti diarrhoeal Ayurvedic herb. Botanical name is Holarrhena antidysnterica and it belongs to Apocyanaceae family. It is bitter associated astringent in taste and cooling herb, possessing pungent bio transformation(vipaka) effect. It balances Pitta and Kapha Dosha. Excess intake or over dosage of the […]

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Join me and @crazy4candles as we celebrate the beginning of...



Join me and @crazy4candles as we celebrate the beginning of summer and as we tune into our inner power and brightness! #summersolstice #aromatherapy #essentialoils #fire #summer #lifestylemiami #candles #miami #miamilife #meditation #meditationmiami #lightworker #priestess #purplelotusspiritualhealing #spiritual #spiritguide #spirituality #spiritualmiami #spiritualgrowth #spiritualhealingmiami #spiritualhealingcentermiami #spiritualawakening #metaphysical #metaphysicalmiami #newage #energyhealing #reiki #yoga #om #namaste



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Acacia catechu Home Remedies: Mouth Ulcer, Acne, Wounds

By Dr MS Krishnamurthy MD(Ayu), PhD Cutch tree is well known as Kattha plant. The reason is kattha is used abundantly in pan shops as an additive of several pan varieties. The age old tree Khadira is identified as Acacia catechu.  This medium sized tree is found in dry climates.The tree bark contaibns 35% catechu […]

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Today and everyday! Laugh have fun, love don’t be afraid...



Today and everyday! Laugh have fun, love don’t be afraid to let go laugh and have fun! Laughter cures all! Even if it’s not Friday yet! Happy #wombwellnesswednesday goddesses! #womanrunes #moonmother #moonmothermiami #healer #healing #priestess #purplelotusspiritualhealing #shaman #shakti #divinefeminine #divinefemininemiami #divinefeminineenergy #sacredfeminine #lightworker #lifestylemiami #miami #miamilife #mindbodyspirit #energyhealing #om #namaste



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#lemuriancrystal #goddess #goddessenergy #goddesspirituality...



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Tantrayukti – Niyoga, Vikalpa, Samucchaya, Uhya

By Prof. A. Rangaprasad Bhat Niyogaḥ– Dictum or Aphorism :- Niyoga yukti is the dictum or aphorism directing a principle to be followed as a rule or duty, in an authoritative tone. Example:- The wholesome food (Pathya) alone should be partaken (to maintain one’s health).  इदमेव कर्तव्यमिति नियोगः । यथा- पथ्यमेव भोक्तव्यमिति ॥सु.उ/३७॥ idameva kartavyamiti […]

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Tantrayukti – Vyakhyana, Svasanjna, Nirvachana, Nidarshana

By Prof. A. Rangaprasad Bhat Vyākhyānaṃ – Emphasis :- vyākhyānam is the explaining or emphasizing the details of a given monograph. Example – Purūṣa with twenty five tatvās have been explained in this tantra (Sushruta Samhita). Where as only the twenty-four tatvās constituting this body have been mentioned of about the Purūṣa  in other Āyurvedatantrās.  […]

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Tantrayukti: Vidhana, Anagata Vekshana, Atikrantavekshana, Samshaya

By Prof. A. Rangaprasad Bhat vidhānam – Statement of contents :- Vidhānam is the method of stating the gist of contents (bhihitamiti yathākramamuktam), in the very beginning of the monograph (prakaraṇānupūrvyā) to be established henceforth. रकरणानुपूर्व्याऽभिहितं विधानम् । यथा- सक्थिमर्माण्येकादश प्रकरणानुपूर्व्याऽभिहितानि ॥सु.उ/२९॥ rakaraṇānupūrvyā’bhihitaṃ vidhānam | yathā- sakthimarmāṇyekādaśa prakaraṇānupūrvyā’bhihitāni ||Su.U/29|| Vidhānam is the method of stating […]

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Tantrayukti: Anekanta, Purvapaksha, Nirnaya, Anumata

By Prof. A. Rangaprasad Bhat Anekanta – Variable rules:- Anekāntaḥ (Variable rules) is the term used to denote certainty in some cases and uncertainty in some other cases. Example – many authorities hold that ‘Dravya’ as the principal factor (dravyaṃ pradhānaṃ), some hold the Rasa’ or taste present in a dravya to be the principal factor […]

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Tantrayukti – Arthapatti, Prasanga, Viparyaya, Ekanta

By Prof. A. Rangaprasad Bhat Arthapatti – Disjunctive hypothetical syllogism :- An artha or object  though when not directly mentioned, still if it can be presumed or deduced indirectly to beget the knowledge, the process of yukti involved in acquiring the jnAna of the object is known as Arthāpatti  yukti.  यदकीर्तितमर्थादापद्यते साऽर्थापत्तिः । यथा- ओदनं भोक्ष्ये […]

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Tantrayukti: Pradesha, Atidesha, Apavarga, Vakyashesha

By Prof. A. Rangaprasad Bhat pradesha – Pradesa is the determination of a present action from past events. For example—Devadatta’s Salya has been extracted by this person, hence Yajnadatta’s Salya will also be extracted by him. प्रकृतस्यातिक्रान्तेन साधनं प्रदेशः । यथा- देवदत्तस्यानेन शल्यमुद्धृतं तथा यज्ञदत्तस्याप्ययमुद्धरिष्यतीति ॥सु.उ/१६॥ prakṛtasyātikrāntena sādhanaṃ pradeśaḥ | yathā- devadattasyānena śalyamuddhṛtaṃ tathā yajñadattasyāpyayamuddhariṣyatīti […]

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Tantrayukti: Hetvartha, Uddesha, Nirdesha, Upadesha, Apadesha

By Prof. A. Rangaprasad Bhat Hetvartha –  Explaining a particular concept with the help of another but different concept in an indirect manner is known as Hetwartha tantra yukti.  यदन्यदुक्तमन्यार्थसाधकं  भवति स हेत्वर्थः । यथा- मृत्पिण्डोऽद्भिः प्रक्लिघते तथा माषदुग्धप्रभृतिभिर्व्रणः प्रक्लिघत इति ॥सु.उ/११॥ yadanyaduktamanyārthasādhakaṃ  bhavati sa hetvarthaḥ | yathā- mṛtpiṇḍo’dbhiḥ praklighate tathā māṣadugdhaprabhṛtibhirvraṇaḥ praklighata iti ||Su.U/11|| […]

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Tantrayukti – Adhikarana, Yoga, Padartha

By Prof. A. Rangaprasad Bhat Adhikarana, Yoga and Padartha are the first three Tantrayukti – techniques for easy understanding of ancient Ayurvedic treatises.  1.Adhikaranam :- तत्र यमर्थमधिकृत्योच्यते तदधिकरणं; यथा रसं दोषं वा ॥सु.उ/८॥ tatra yamarthamadhikṛtyocyate tadadhikaraṇaṃ; yathā rasaṃ doṣaṃ vā ||Su.U/8|| Of these terms Adhikarana is the subject about which something is spoken of. For […]

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Walnut – Juglans regia Uses, Research, Remedies

Walnut – Juglans regia is an Ayurvedic fruit used for the treatment of skin diseases, wounds, herpes, abscess and improving the physical strength. Akrot is the common name of walnut in many Indian languages.  Latin name- Juglans regia Linn. Family- Juglandaceae Names in different languages: Hindi name- Akrot, Akroot, akhrot English name- Walnut Kannada name- […]

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Jackfruit Uses, Remedies, Research, Side Effects

Jackfruit – Artocarpus heterophyllus is an Ayurvedic  tree used for the treatment of wounds, Bell’s palsy, increasing sperm count, improve the body strength, diarrhea, skin diseases and cases of poisoning.  Latin name- Artocarpus integrifolia Linn., Artocarpus heterophyllus, Artocarpus integer. Family- Moraceae Jackfruit Names in different languages: Hindi name- Katahal, Chakki English name- Jackfruit Assamese name- Kathahal, Kathal Bengali name- Kantal, Kanthal,  […]

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How to React Calmly in Stressful or Frustrating Situations

“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.” ~Unknown

Working in an office requires us to spend more time with our co-workers than anyone in our personal life. How those co-workers act can have a big impact on us. Noticing a co-worker’s interactions during a recent marketing job gave me insight into how I react in stressful or frustrating situations outside the office.

My cubicle sat next to a team of individuals who were required to be on the phone nearly every minute they were at their desks. It seemed unimaginable to me that a person could work this way day after day.

I could listen to their conversations as I worked, and was impressed with their finesse at handling difficult conversations, or tact when delivering unfavorable news to their clients on the other end of the phone. I sincerely admired their talents.

One particular day evoked a light-bulb moment for me. A young man named Dan was frustrated with the person he was speaking with on the phone. He stepped into the break room and unloaded his frustration loudly, with hand gestures, a flushed face, pacing, and a string of not-so-kind words.

I didn’t think anything of this type of behavior. To me, it seemed like a natural reaction. It was only after he left the room that I realized no one else saw the situation this way.

I listened to my friends talk about this young man’s behavior as unprofessional and imbalanced. It even caused them to question his worth as a team member. They expressed how this had happened in the past and how he obviously had some problems.

Wow. I knew I had behaved this same way many times in the past.

After that, I started noticing how I reacted to difficult situations. I realized that when my peers were complaining about work, management, co-workers, etc., I took on those feelings. I also could react similar to Dan did when I was frustrated with something I couldn’t control.

I could see it in my home life too. I realized that my reactions to small life occurrences were much more pronounced than my boyfriend’s. This caused friction.

For example, if my boyfriend made a comment about another woman, I would yell, slam doors, and exaggerate about how much the comment had hurt me.

My behavior made me look small and out of control to my mate. He said nothing after the first time, but after the twentieth time, he didn’t want to deal with it anymore.

Why did I blow things out of proportion? Looking back, I realize I was feeling vulnerable and scared when I behaved this way.

How could my responses be more in line with my mate, co-workers, and others? I knew what it was like to be around irritated, riled people, since that was my experience growing up. Not much fun. I didn’t want to be that person for anyone else.

It helped me to realize I’d been modeling the over-the-top reactions I’d witnessed during my early years. It’s what I’d been taught. .

After asking my friends how they would have handled certain difficult situations, and tuning into myself, I found six techniques that help me react calmly. As a result of applying these ideas, I’m now leading a much happier life.

1. Train yourself to notice your physical feelings in stressful situations.

Notice when you start to feel clammy, fidgety, tight in the chest, outside of yourself, or any other physical discomfort. The more you practice noticing how you feel physically, after someone has said something upsetting, for example, the better you will be able to understand and alter your reactions.

In time, you will be better able to sense when something is emotionally affecting you by noticing the physical manifestations.

As you feel them, visualize the negative physical feelings running down your body and out your fingertips and toes.

For instance, your co-worker gets high praise for a project for which you provided key input. You receive nothing. You might notice your breath start to quicken and recognize that this physical reaction is a sign of defensiveness. You could then visualize your breath slowing and the defensiveness running down your body and out your toes.

2. Be aware of when people around you begin to get upset.

Once you’ve trained yourself to notice your physical feelings, look outwardly to how others react physically. Is your co-worker speaking more quickly, or does he maybe have a flushed face? Has she started to re-arrange items on her desk, or is she fidgeting in her chair?

As you become aware of physical behaviors that can signal agitation, dislike, etc., you can train yourself to leave that negative feeling with the person feeling that way.

That negative feeling is theirs. Let them have it. Don’t engage.

Visualize the negative feeling as a box, and leave it squarely on the other person’s lap. Think to yourself, “Let go,” then slowly blow out air while thinking, “gooooo.” This is an instant calming technique.

I eventually became able to use this “box” technique in my relationship with my boyfriend. If he’s upset with me, I now quickly assess whether I’ve been unkind, inconsiderate, judgmental, or whatever he’s accused me of being.

If I know I have, I own up to it right away and apologize. But if his accusation isn’t true, then I can see his it’s coming from how he’s feeling about himself. If that’s the case, I leave the box with him.

I try to to help him figure out how he’s feeling. I speak calmly and leave a lot of room for him to speak, so as to be a good listener. But I don’t take on his feelings as my own.

Remember their feelings are not your “box”—not your problem.

3. Spend plenty of time quiet and alone.

Another technique to calm how you react in difficult situations is to build up your bank of quiet, stress-free air. Visualize the air surrounding you when you’re calm, thinking positive thoughts. Give the calm air a color—pale blue, pink, or whatever.

Now, visualize the air going into a large bank. Test out different amounts of quiet time each week. Maybe for you, ten minutes a day fills up your bank. Maybe thirty minutes of quiet reflection each Saturday is enough to calm you throughout the week. Make it right for you.

For centuries monks, clergy, nuns, and lay people have practiced silence. When quiet, a person can reflect, re-charge, and center oneself. Each time you sit in silence, remember, you’re depositing more quiet, calm air into your serenity bank.

4. Commune with nature daily.

As you hear the quiet, notice the natural breeze and visualize it carrying away any heavy emotions that weigh you down. I guarantee you will start to feel physically lighter as the breeze blows your troubles away.

Researchers found a decrease in both heart rate and levels of cortisol in subjects in the forest when compared to those in the city (as reported in the Environmental Health and Preventative Medicine).

Take in nature through your pores so you can carry it with you to that boardroom, with fluorescent lights and stale air.

5. Journal about worries.

Journaling through any worries can diffuse negative thoughts. When worry is becoming prominent, first write down the concrete facts of the situation. What do I know for sure? Not what I think may be the case, just the facts. Can you see why this is upsetting to you? Next, write the worst possible outcome.

After seeing the worst-case scenario, walk through the solutions that are available to you. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt as helpless or worried? Remind yourself how you made it through that situation, and that you’ll find a solution for today’s worry too. If you don’t have time to write, use these same techniques in your thoughts.

6. Keep your muscles strong.

We’ve all heard that we release endorphins when we exercise. Let this be a reminder to consciously use these hormones when you need it.

I find it easier to work out when I think of the emotional benefit I’ll receive from the physical exercise.

For example, while practicing yoga or Pilates, the stretching, the slow muscle movement, the blood flow to large muscles as they work hard, all bring our thoughts to the present. Focusing on your body movement is a great way to let go of whatever is on your mind.

It may have taken me four decades to realize I reacted unfavorably because of my early home environment, but I’ll hopefully have four decades to practice a new way of reacting.

If we foster calm in our lives as much as we can, when a situation occurs, we will have the tools and techniques to react calmly and wisely.

About Debra Happe

Debra Happe is a marketing professional and writer based in Iowa. She is letting go daily, in order to live a more peaceful life. To read more by Debra, check out http://ift.tt/2qf01C3 or where ever she is writing at the moment.

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Chirabilva- Holoptelea integrifolia, Uses, Research, Remedies, Side Effects

Indian Elm – Holoptelea integrifolia is a herb mentioned in Ayurveda for the treatment of localized swelling, skin diseases, nausea, diabetes, indigestion, piles and acts as blood purifier. It is commonly called Chirabilva in Ayurveda.  Latin name- Holoptelea integrifolia Planch Family- Ulmaceae Chirabiwa – Names in different languages: English name – Indian Elm, entire-leaved elm […]

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May 23, 7 Sleeping Tips for Health and Vitality

Want to sleep like a baby? These seven sleeping tips will help you enjoy a great night sleep.

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Tuesday, 23 May 2017

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Check out these beautiful orgonite pieces by @consciousorgonite...



Check out these beautiful orgonite pieces by @consciousorgonite these pieces bring positive energy into your home and protects you from emf waves. Check out these handmade pieces by my husband @consciousorgonite #orgonite #orgonitelove #orgonitemiami #organiteenergy #etsyshop #energyhealing #energyhealingmiami #metaphysical #metaphysicalmiami #metaphysicalshop #sp#spiritual #spiritguide #spirituality #spiritualmiami #spiritualhealer #spiritualawakening #spiritualhealingmiami #spiritualhealingcentermiami #reiki #reikimiami #yoga #yogamiami #miami #miamilife #lightworker #lifestylemiami #om #newage #namaste



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Connecting Presence and Power

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As women, we are not encouraged to take up space. Our culture praises us for being thin and lightweight. With this conditioning, it be can be challenging to find a way to connect with our own sense of knowing and power.

The music begins and bodies start swaying, moving side to side, forward and back. Our teacher, Lucia Horan (luciahoran.com), instructs us to feel our feet. She guides us to connect with gravity through the full weight of our bodies. “Feel the energy of the earth connecting through ‘bubbling spring’; where your arch meets the ball of your foot,” she calls as we begin to move around the room.

I am exploring the 5Rhythms dance with a group of twenty women from around the world. We are in the yoga shala at Lumeria, and the space is filled with natural light and powerful music. It’s our first day together, and there is a sense of curiosity, both with each other, and with this movement. Horan, who grew up with the 5Rhythms and creator Gabrielle Roth, moves effortlessly around the room, shifting seamlessly through the bodies.

We are dancing the first rhythm, which is called flowing. Sinking into our full weight, and harnessing the power of our breath at the same time, allows for a fluid form of movement around the room. “Flowing is about giving yourself the permission to return to your own intuitive nature,” insists Horan, “it’s a state of being, not a dance we do.”

Horan explains that in order to harness your full power, you must be able to feel your full weight. Finding power in movement, and in life, requires grounding. If you’re not feeling your feet and connecting to the earth, you will be off-balance, and unable to access your power. Culturally, we don’t tend to embrace our full weight as women, so there is a tendency to move lightly, often with our heels disconnected from the earth.

As we begin to move the full weight of ourselves around the room, there is a shift in the energy. Each woman in the room explores her own connection with what it feels like to really breathe into her weight, to use it as a source of power. Horan guides us to take up more space, to widen our steps, which is, again, a shift in how many of us normally walk through our days.

We feel our way into this movement. The flow of momentum from one foot to the other; the flow of breath. I feel that sense of knowing that inhabits this space of inner connection. I am able to access a filling up and a filling out into my full physical self. I do feel powerful. It feels like that power that we all want: the power to be present, the power to know our truth, the power to move with the rhythm that life is moving at.

We have this power available to us at all times. Gravity is a constant companion. We can learn to lean into it, to allow each step to ground us in the present moment, and to fill ourselves with the energy of the earth. With each step, feel your weight. With each moment, notice your breath.

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When Love and Political Opinion Clash

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I regularly see posts on social media from people saying, “If you voted for_________ (fill in the blank), you can unfriend me,” or “never speak to me again,” or a variation on a division between people who once were friends or who loved each other. Our current political era has created a greater divide, or at least a louder one, than most of us have ever seen before.

This is not just happening in America.  A couple from England explained to me how Brexit has not only created a division in Europe, but also in households and families. Those for or against can simply not understand the others, nor change their minds. I have heard similar sentiments from those in Canada, and now, France.  

So what do we do when our political stand and our friendships clash?

This is a particularly challenging question because on each side of the table people are feeling like deep-set values are being threatened. When our core safety or that of those we love is threatened our protective natures emerge.

It is important to take a step back and employ what I call “Six Essential Life Skills” so we can access solutions. At first, it seems cumbersome to remember steps. However, once learned and practiced, they all happen in one breath and can guide your behavior toward healthier solutions than merely turning your back on people that you love.

The first essential skill is to remember who you really are (and if you don’t know, figure it out.) When we remember that at our core we are spiritual beings having a human experience, rather than a ego vying to be right, we tend to behave differently. While politics and policy are critically important on our rights, freedoms and our environment’s well-being, what may even be more important is how we behave, how we treat others, how we speak and what we choose to think.  

When we take the time to identify who we really are at the soul level, we may list “activist” but even more core than that, we may identify “loving, integrity, compassionate, forgiving” as our higher self-description.

While we journey down the path of remembering who we really are, it is helpful to remember who everyone really is, too. We are all divine beings, trying to figure out how to do this human thing, how to be safe, how to keep our families fed and find our way to enlightenment. Some just may be way further along the path than others, but like it or not, we are all on the path.

The second of essential life skills is to identify your target and remember what you are truly aiming for. Again, a certain political outcome or consciousness may be your target, but upon deeper introspection, you may discover that “healthy relationships with family/friends, integrity, respect, and understanding” are closer to your bull’s eye. We have to be careful not to side step our spiritual goals for less important human aspirations.

The third essential life skill is to become self-observant. Self-observation causes us to be mindful. Mindfulness allows us to see the big picture and realize that our choices either lead toward our “target” or away from it.

The fourth essential life skill is to evaluate our options and choose which target we want. Do we want to be right, or do we want to be loving? Do we want to honor fear or faith? Do we want to honor our politics over our relationships? Take a step back and ask yourself, if I put this person down, call them names, stop speaking to them or accuse them of being bad and wrong, will that lead toward my goal? In essence, we begin to see that our ego’s reactionary behaviors don’t actually accomplish our goals. Being defensive, indignant, and insulting does not actually change the other person’s mind, nor does it lead to a better planet, or policies, nor does it lead to healthy relationships and greater integrity. When we really take the time to evaluate, we see the insanity of doing and saying things that don’t actually lead where we want to go.

The fifth essential skill requires that we recalibrate with who we really are and access the creativity of our spirits. This process is a one-breath meditation where we take the “down elevator” from our ego mind to our spirits, and realign with the self-identified qualities that we aspire to embody: loving, integrity, compassionate, forgiving, humble, creative, accepting, imaginative, trusting, wise, intuitive, to name a few. Once we have accessed these innate spiritual qualities, we move to the sixth essential life skill: Choosing our words, thoughts and actions in alignment with who we really are and what we are trying to create.

Once we have recalibrated, we step into the creativity of other options:

I can love you without agreeing with you.

I can be friends with you without talking politics with you.

I can keep my distance from you, while still honoring your core goodness.

I can forgive you.

I can admit that I was wrong.

In whatever form ‘judgment day” may be on our souls, I seriously doubt the question at the pearld gates will be “Who did you vote for?” but rather more akin to “How did you treat those who voted differently than you?”

Simply put, when love and political views clash, choose love.

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Lemurian Quartz Crystal Helps With Retrieving Ancient Information

Lemurian Quartz Crystal

Lemurian Quartz Crystal have properties that aid you to retrieve ancient information and create spiritual healing in your life. They come mainly from Brazil, but many are being found elsewhere.



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Ficus hispida – Kakodumbara Uses, Research, Remedies, Side Effects

Kakodumbara- Ficus hispida is an Ayurvedic herb used for the treatment of skin diseases, wounds, fever and to increase breast milk in lactating women.   Latin name- Ficus hispida Linn. Family- Urticaceae Kakodumbar – Names in different languages: Hindi name- Kathumar, Kathgular English name- Hairy Fig, devil fig, opposite leaved fig, Arabic name- Tin basin […]

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Join me tomorrow for my yoni egg workshop. Whether your...



Join me tomorrow for my yoni egg workshop. Whether your interested in purchasing one or just curious this is the prefect workshop. We will go over all the basics plus yoga and meditation with the yoni egg. Contact me for more info and to RSVP! Workshop is also available to purchase online! Contact me for more info! #femaleawakening #yoni #yonieggs #yoniempowerment #yonimagic #femaleawakening #moonmother #moonmothermiami #crystalhealing #wombwellness #wombblessing #wombhealing #wombwisdom #wombwellnessmiami #wombwellnesscentermiami #shakti #purplelotusspiritualhealing #priestess #spiritualmiami #spiritualhealingmiami #spiritualhealingcentermiami #goddess #divinefeminine #divinefemininemiami #divinefeminineenergy #sacredfeminine #yonihealth



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White Mulberry: Morus alba Uses, Research, Remedies, Side Effects

Tuta- Morus alba is an Ayurvedic herb used for the treatment of burning urination, dental caries, skin infections and intestinal worm infestation. Its common name is white mulberry.  Latin name- Morus alba Linn. Family- Moraceae Names in different languages: Hindi name- Shahatoot English name- Mulberry (White) Telugu and Tamil name- Malbari Sanskrit Synonyms- Tula, Brahmadaru, […]

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Java Fig: Ficus lacor Uses, Research, Remedies, Side Effects

Plaksha- Ficus lacor is an Ayurvedic tree used for the treatment of bleeding disorders, herpes, wounds, mouth ulcers, diarrhea and leucorrhea. Its common name is Java Fig.  Latin name- Ficus lacor Buch. Ham. Family-Moraceae Names in different languages: Hindi name-Pakar, Pakadi English name- Java fig Gujarathi name- Pepari Kannada name- Basari mara Malayalam name- Chela […]

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Bodhi Tree: Ficus religiosa, Uses, Research, Remedies, Side Effects

Ashwattha- Ficus religiosa isan Ayurvedic tree used for the treatment of cough, skin diseases, improving the skin complexion, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and improving the sexual potency. It is commonly known by the terms Bodhi tree, Sacred fig, Peepal tree etc.  Latin name- Ficus religiosa Linn. Family- Moraceae Names in different languages:  Hindi name- Peepal tree […]

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The Best Things in Life Are Free (and Healing)

“The six best doctors: sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise, and diet.” ~Wayne Fields

I’ve always believed the best things in life are free. Sunshine on your skin next to a body of water ranks up there as one of my favorite experiences. I love nothing more than to be in a pool in the summertime.

Though doctors have helped me with my depression, nature has provided me with my best doctors. When I am in nature, I feel restored.

When I was a child, I used to like to go on adventures. I would venture off into my parents’ backyard with the neighborhood kids, telling them we were going on an adventure into the forest.

I was a little nature child in love with the flowers, the sunlight, and the trees.

Those were some of my best memories of childhood. But, as I grew older I forgot about the restorative power of nature.

I started working all of the time and using the weekends for chores. I stopped doing the things I loved. I forgot to venture into the forest.

For years, I suffered from seasonal affective disorder. In the winter, a deep depression would overtake me. I was exhausted. I didn’t want to get out of bed.

Being inside felt suffocating. The dark nights and the cold winters seemed to drain my spirit. In the spring, I would feel reborn.

Once I realized that there was a definite seasonal aspect to my depression, I started taking preventative measures. I bought a light box and started getting up earlier each day to get some sunlight in the winter. I made a point to go meet friends and not stay at home all day.

There are many tools I use to cope with my depression. I see a therapist and take medication. But, for me, the best medicine is preventative. It’s getting out into the world each day.

Getting enough sunshine is vital to my well-being. I almost feel like the sun is recharging me when I get some sunlight. I talk a morning walk each day, walk the dog and listen to the birds. I use that time to say positive affirmations to myself and reflect on having a good day.

If I have time, I take a walk during my lunch break or at least spend some time outside. I remember the days when I would stay inside at work eating my sandwich while staring at the computer. No more eating at the desk for me!

I take another walk when I get home from work. It relieves the stress from the workday and sets me up for a nice evening. These are short ten minute walks, but they really do make a difference.

After dinner, I try to find some time just for me. Soaking in a hot bath seems to melt away all of my worries.

Being a Pisces, I’ve always been drawn to water. I live in a land-locked state, but take every opportunity I can to go to the ocean. As kids, we used to go fishing on the weekends. I remember how quiet those days were. Just looking at water seems to cleanse the negativity from my mind.

I like to watch the way the sun sparkles on the water and the way it ripples. Water has a very meditative quality. You can’t help but feel mesmerized looking at it.

I don’t always get the opportunity to be near a body of water, but I love the springtime. Opening the doors to let in fresh air after months locked inside is invigorating. I like to do some spring cleaning with the doors and windows open to let in the light and a light breeze.

No matter what time of year it is, proper rest is vital to a healthy body and mind. I used to go for days staying up late and waking up early, not understanding why I felt so lethargic and terrible all of the time.

When I don’t get enough sleep, I am crabby with others, eat unhealthy food, and stop being productive at work. I get in the habit of powering up with caffeine through the day and not being able to get to sleep at night. The next day, I wake up tired and the cycle begins all over again.

When I do get enough sleep, I have the energy to exercise. The combination of rest and exercise leads to feeling much better.

I can tell a big difference in my outlook when I don’t exercise. When I’m active, I smile more, breathe easier, and get more done.

When I skip a few days, I become irritable and tired. I snap at my husband. I don’t want to play baseball with the child. Ironically, using energy to exercise creates more energy for love.

However, I’ve also found that I have to do exercise that I love or it feels like a chore.

I love yoga and taking walks outside. I love Zumba because it makes me feel like I’m dancing. But, ask me to run and I’ll resist and procrastinate.

I want to enjoy exercise and moving my body. When I opt for what I enjoy, I look forward to doing it.

For me, all of the other elements come before diet. Perhaps for others, it is the opposite.

For years, I have battled with trying to eat better. What I’ve found is that I’m getting the other four items, I naturally want to eat better. It’s not as much of a struggle as it is when I start with diet first.

By all means, use every tool that helps you to enjoy a full, healthy, and happy life. But, give nature a try.

Revel in the warm weather! Get out and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. Get some rest, take a nice walk, and eat some fresh, healthy vegetables. End the day with a nice, warm bath.

It may be just what the doctor ordered.

About Melissa McCaughan

Melissa McCaughan, the author of Legacy, is a literal ghost writer, choosing ghosts as the protagonists of her novels. She is currently working on a sequel, Epiphany, coming out later this year. She teaches an Adventure e-course called There’s No Place Like Home: Finding Adventure in Your Own Backyard and writes a blog called Carpe Diem. Follow her on Facebook.

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Monday, 22 May 2017

Rhodonite Crystals, Compassion, Forgiveness & Release of Fear

Rhodonite Egg

Rhodonite stimulates acceptance and forgiveness, aids emotional healing of relationship problems. It calms you when you're angry, fearful, panicky or stressed and helps you find hidden talents.



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This beautiful bracelet is available for sale on my Etsy shop -...



This beautiful bracelet is available for sale on my Etsy shop - PurplelotusSpiritual it is made of rhodonite and black obsidian perfect for love/self-love grounding and protection. Rhodonite is also a great crystal for womb healing! #moonmother #moonmothermiami #wombhealing #wombwellness #wombwellnessmiami #wombwellnesscentermiami #etsyshop #etsysellersofinstagram #etsysmallbusiness #rhodonite #blackobsidian #energyhealing #wombtree #femaleawakening #divinefeminine #divinefeminineenergy #divinefemininemiami #sacredfeminine #shakti #spiritual #spiritguide #spirituality #spiritualmiami #spiritualhealingmiami #spiritualhealingcentermiami #metaphysicaljewelry #crystalhealingmiami #crystalhealing #miami #mindbodyspirit #miamilife #lightworker #lifestylemiami #shaman #priestess #purplelotusspiritualhealing #om #namaste



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A womb blessing is a path for all women to remove all the...



A womb blessing is a path for all women to remove all the blockages from society, physical/sexual abuse in order for them to connect to who they really are. To connect with the sacred feminine within, to find he power they hold in their wombs to become to true divine goddess they really are! #moonmother #moonmothermiami #wombblessing #wombblessingmiami #wombwellnessmiami #wombwellness #wombhealing #wombwisdom #divinefeminine #divinefemininemiami #divinefeminineenergy #sacredfeminine #shakti #spiritualhealingcentermiami #spiritualhealingmiami #shaman #priestess #purplelotusspiritualhealing #spiritualawakening #miami #miamilife #mindbodyspirit #mindbodyspiritmiami #lightworker #lifestylemiami #energyhealing #wombtree #femaleawakening #om #namaste



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Check out this weeks schedule! Tonight, Monday we meditate under...



Check out this weeks schedule! Tonight, Monday we meditate under the stars Wednesday we explore the practice of yoni eggs and Thursday new moon sister circle! Contact me for more info and to RSVP! #moonmother #moonmothermiami #wombwellness #wombwellnessmiami #meditation #meditationmiami #wellness #wombhealing #yoni #sisterhood #globalsisterhood #newmoon #miami #miamilife #lightworker #lifestylemiami #priestess #purplelotusspiritualhealing #shakti #spiritual #spiritguide #spirituality #spiritualmiami #spiritualawakening #spiritualhealingmiami #spiritualhealingcentermiami #om #namaste



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Fourth appearance on BBC Radio Scotland for our medical adviser in a year | Kaye Adams Show, Tuesday May 23, 11am

MEA medical adviser Dr Charles will be appearing on BBC Radio Scotland for the fourth time in a year tomorrow (May 23) – when he joins a discussion on Lyme Disease on the Kaye Adams Show at 11am.

The invitation to take part was prompted by a question about the symptom overlap (and frequent confusion) between Lyme and ME/CFS asked in the dying minutes of a phone-in on Stephen Jardine’s programme, but left somewhat hanging in there air, on ME Awareness Day (May 12).

The May 12 discussion is still available to listen to on http://ift.tt/2ps4k0y.

The discussion on ME/CFS that day begins at 1:16:30. The main participants were Dr Shepherd and Emma Shorter, 24, organiser of the #MillionsMissing demonstration in Edinburgh.

To listen to the show tomorrow, click on the following link:
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Join me tonight for meditation under the stars! Come meditate...



Join me tonight for meditation under the stars! Come meditate with us as we let go of the worries the day and sink into the wonder of our spirit. All my meditations are beautifully guided as i channel me medicine woman guide. Contact me to RSVP and for more info! #meditation #meditationmiami #meditate #mindbodyspirit #mindbodyspiritmiami #shakti #spiritualhealingmiami #spiritguide #spirituality #spiritualmiami #spiritualhealer #spiritualawakening #spiritualhealing #spiritualhealingcentermiami #priestess #purplelotusspiritualhealing #shaman #lightworker #lifestylemiami #miami #miamilife #metaphysical #metaphysicalmiami #newage #newagemiami #healer #healing #wellness #moonmother #reiki #yoga #yogamiami #miamiyoga #om #namaste



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Banyan Tree: Ficus benghalensis: Uses, Research, Remedies, Side Effects

Banyan tree – Ficus benghalensis is an Ayurvedic plant for the treatment for wounds, skin diseases, eye diseases, leucorrhea, diabetes and diarrhea. It is called Vata in Ayurveda.  Latin name- Ficus benghalensis Linn. Family- Moraceae Names in different languages: Hindi   name – Bad, Bargad English name – Banyan tree Kannada name – Alada mara, Aala, […]

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How a Terrified, Socially Anxious Guy Became Relaxed and Confident

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ~Viktor Frankl

Life is hell… or so I thought for most of my thirty-four years.

My intense social anxiety, an over-the-top and uncontrollable fear of people and social situations, ruined much of my young life. I operated completely alone, living only inside my own head, without even realizing it.

Now, it’s rare that I’m too afraid to talk to anyone. And I face multiple difficult decisions, discussions, and even confrontations in any given week.

Just a few years ago, a client could make what I would mistakenly take as an angry comment (even just by email), or someone could look at me funny, and I’d tailspin into a three-day episode of fear, shame, and self-hatred. I’d literally lose sleep over it. Every time an emotional breeze blew, I uprooted and fell over.

But I no longer struggle like I used to. Similar situations sometimes cause mild anxiety, but often, none at all.

This transformation surprises me as much as friends who’ve known me for my entire life. How did it happen? Why do I no longer turn every little social cue into a psychological catastrophe?

I learned three lessons after decades of trial, error, failure, reloading, and trying again. At times, I was filled with hopelessness and despair. Occasionally, suicide appeared a viable way out.

But somehow I mustered up just enough resolve to keep going. It made no sense that life should be filled with misery exclusively.

I finally found what worked. Or maybe it found me.

Here’s what I learned, and the actions I take to hold social anxiety at bay and keep my peace, confidence, and happiness today.

1. Fear and anxiety always lie, and never serve your best interest.

I can’t tell you how long I chose to trust and obey my fear of people. I never questioned it. I always assumed the anxiety and fear spoke the truth.

Both had been present my whole life, after all. Fear and anxiety owned me. And I learned to sink my shoulders, lower my head, shuffle my feet, and do exactly what they said:

  • “Don’t talk to that person! They’ll reject you.”
  • “See the way they’re looking at you? They hate you.”
  • “Forget about asking anyone on a date. You’re a loser. They’ll say ‘no’ anyway.”
  • “You’ll miss the shot (in basketball). You’ll just be a failure. Everyone will laugh.”
  • “You’re stuck. You can’t get anywhere in life. You’ll never amount to anything.”
  • “You’re doomed to a bleak, lonely existence.”
  • “Don’t even try. You know how this ends anyway.”

These thoughts kept me lonely, isolated, unemployed, and full of self-hatred.

After years of trying different approaches, and sometimes even the same things, I finally asked myself, “What if everything fear told me was a big, fat lie? What if something different could happen?”

I realized that my own mind told me the worst possible stuff. It lied outright. So, I learned not to accept my thoughts or feelings as reality.

Eventually, I started doing exactly what fear told me not to do. At first, I rarely got the outcome I wanted. But slowly, I developed freedom from fear. More good things happened. And life got better.

I felt more confident. Got married. Bought a house. And enjoyed my work.

I didn’t think I’d ever have any of those things.

Acting first, and letting the feelings follow (but not necessarily expecting that change immediately in the moment), works like a charm on fear.

2. Happiness and confidence come from within, not from anything external.

I got sucked in by society’s portrayal of happiness.

Someone owns a massive house, and they seem to have it all. A quarterback tosses a touchdown pass to win the game, and they become an infallible superhero. James Bond always knows what to do and how to win the day.

Though I didn’t realize it then, for a long time, I thought confidence and happiness came from all this… stuff. After I had one of those externals, I thought, I would feel happy, confident, and good about myself.

So all my energy went toward pursuing these things. Sometimes ruthlessly, harming others along the way.

I got a small taste on occasion. But it offered only fleeting happiness. None of it lasted, so I needed another thing from the list to feel happy and confident. And of course, that didn’t work either. On and on it went…

Where do happiness and confidence come from? Things you can’t buy. Working on yourself.

This has resulted in much more than just happiness and confidence. I now feel:

  • Satisfied
  • Fulfilled
  • Purposeful
  • Content
  • Grateful

Compare this to how I felt before:

  • Hopeless
  • Filled with despair
  • Like a fraud/imposter/outsider
  • Guilty
  • Full of self-loathing
  • Regretful

The comparison’s not even close, really.

3. Regardless of the extreme power social anxiety has over you, you can become confident and happy.

During high school and early college, my social anxiety was at its worst.

I had plenty of excuses for not going to social events. I’d stay in on Friday and Saturday nights. Almost every interaction with a human being, and even just the anticipation of it, triggered shockwaves of social anxiety.

Making a friend and having a real relationship with them? Not a chance.

Instead, I’d drink too much at parties. Usually, I wouldn’t remember them. I didn’t want to because of the incredible stress they caused.

And of course, drinking was really avoidance of intimacy. Long term, it actually increased my anxiety and desire to avoid real interactions with others.

The more failure I met, the more anxious I became. And the more the social anxiety grew, the less I was able to meet people and make friends.

Down and down I went, feeling empty and alone the whole way. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I make friends and hold down a job with ease, just like everyone else?

How do you break that cycle?

You do the opposite. Create an upward cycle instead. One that works like this:

Forgiving myself for mistakes, and realizing when I do and don’t have responsibility

In the past, I would constantly criticize and put myself down whenever things didn’t go “right” (read: my way). I mistakenly believed I had more responsibility for outcomes than I did.

One time I bumped into a guy’s $100,000 car with a tire I needed fixed. He was screaming and cursing a blue streak at me. I plummeted into guilt and shame.

These days, I’d take responsibility for the accident, but not for the other person’s feelings. It would be tempting to feel guilty and ashamed. But I could recognize that and share how I felt with someone I trust instead of telling myself how stupid I was.

Today, I constantly forgive myself for mistakes of any kind, and I let outcomes be what they are.

Challenging myself to speak up

For example, let’s say someone disagreed with something I said. Before, I’d immediately get anxious and fearful, and likely wouldn’t stand up for myself.

Now, instead, I’d pause and think. If I felt strongly about my opinion, I’d continue standing up for myself rather than going along with what the other person said. Nice confidence boost there.

Or, if a customer service associate refused to offer a refund, socially anxious me would simply take it and go about my way. Now, I’d pause and think, and rather than give in to anxiety, ask to talk to a supervisor. Instead of feeling bad about myself, my confidence would go up.

Loosening my grip on the things I think I have to have

My social anxiety constantly wanted control. I had to have the girl, the job, the laugh, or whatever it was.

I usually didn’t get those things because I was too afraid to try. Or, I did try, but acted from a place of fear and ended up making too many mistakes and chasing those things out of my life.

I’d get too anxious at work, fearing that my boss would see my mistake. Then I’d second-guess myself, and make more silly mistakes because of that anxiety. Or I’d get too anxious to move a relationship forward, and the girl would pick up on that, then she was gone. If I wanted people to laugh, I’d get so anxious about needing that outcome that I’d forget the joke or say it awkwardly.

Letting go of control and attachment to my desires has helped me feel more at ease, and far less anxious.

Accepting what happens, without blaming myself or judging it as “good” or “bad”

If I have a conversation with a potential client, and they don’t want to work with me, I try not to get upset with myself. My instinct is to feel guilty and ashamed, like I didn’t say the right things necessary to win the business (judging the situation as “bad”).

Now, I say, ”Well, that didn’t work out. Let’s see. What happened?” Sometimes clients get busy doing other things. Some want to see what they can get from you for free. Other times, clients don’t get the budget they thought they would. And they might move on to another company.

I accept that I don’t know why the prospect didn’t become a client. I learn from the situation what’s possible based on the evidence available, and let go of the rest.

Correcting my wrongs with others

Sometimes in the past, I avoided others. Or, I talked negatively behind their back. And in some cases, I got angry to their face.

Now, when I fall into these old habits, I waste no time apologizing and doing everything I can to not repeat the wrong in the future. It helps with social anxiety because I have to go directly to the person, face-to-face.

In cases where I talk negatively behind someone’s back, I correct the wrong with those who heard it instead of avoiding people. This rebuilds the relationship, which melts away social anxiety.

Sharing the troublesome thoughts spinning around in my head

The longer anxious thoughts spin around in your head, the more power they get. So today, I share them with people who understand and care. Not a single one has social anxiety, but they all want to see me heal.

Not blaming others

When things went wrong because of my social anxiety, like the two jobs I got fired from and the other I quit, I wanted to only look at what the employers did wrong. That didn’t help at all. So today, I look at my part in the situation, even if it’s just 1%.

When I blame others, I do so because I’m too anxious and afraid to look at myself. I don’t want to experience the embarrassment of seeing what I did wrong. But how can I relieve my anxiety without looking at my own actions?

When I look at what I did, and take positive action to correct it, I gain confidence because I’ve improved as a person. My struggle with my wrong weakens. Over time, it goes away completely.

This allows me to take real action to improve my life. Blaming keeps me inactive, and a slave to the same old attitudes.

Serving others in big and small ways

I’ve adopted a lifestyle of service. Usually not big things, but I make myself available to help others out with personal problems, quick errands, or whatever it happens to be.

At first, I served others just to get out of my negative social anxiety. That’s okay at first. With continued practice, you serve others mostly for their gain.

Practicing self-awareness and working on my actions and reactions

I don’t have a single tactic that works for fixing or improving other people. Life doesn’t work that way. So, I simply focus on improving myself daily.

I have a list of thirty character defects. I’m capable of just about any wrong any human can commit, but generally I act on these thirty.

When tempted to act on one, I pause for a moment and choose a positive action instead. I’ve not had one perfect day yet, but my internal life improves daily. And I feel increasing happiness and connectedness to others as a result.

Discarding unhealthy mindsets: playing the victim, pitying myself, feeling entitled, or self-righteously judging others

I played the victim because everyone else got the girlfriend, job, or car first. Because I was anxious and afraid to go for those things, they came much later in life for me than most people.

Social anxiety caused me great fear, guilt, and shame. I didn’t get the external things when I thought I should, so I felt entitled to compensation for my suffering.

I’d judge others because truthfully, I didn’t like myself. My self-esteem was through the floor, so I wanted to bring everyone down too.

Unfortunately, this only increased social anxiety’s power over me because all of these choices kept me separate from others. So when these feelings come up now, I don’t act on them. I don’t even allow myself to think about them. I simply acknowledge their presence and move on.

My social anxiety wants to weigh me down like an anchor. And it can, if I don’t strictly adhere to the above list. But now, I live in a beautiful upward cycle that leads to happiness. Because these steps work.

But it takes time to learn and put all this into practice. Sometimes decades.

Hopefully learning from my experience shaves years of struggle off your growth and enables you to experience happiness, joy, and freedom—starting right now.

About Dan Stelter

Dan Stelter is the author of AnxietySupportNetwork.com, where he helps socially anxious people overcome their fear, heal, relax, win confidence, and enjoy life again. Get strategies for all five when you sign up for his free e-mail course.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post How a Terrified, Socially Anxious Guy Became Relaxed and Confident appeared first on Tiny Buddha.



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May 21, Help for Insomnia Tips

Are you having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep? These natural help for insomnia tips can help...

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Sunday, 21 May 2017

Sunstone Helps SAD Disorder & Awakens Cosmic Consciousness

Sunstone

Sunstone helps the depression related to SAD aka seasonal affective disorder. Aids stress with its warmth and strength. Has properties that bring mental clarity and strong leadership abilities. Assists lightbody development.



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Does your birthday fall in the Gemini sign?

Tigers Eye

Does your birthday fall in the Gemini sign? If you share some of the Gemini traits such as having a high intelligence and excellent intuitive abilities, use your intuition to aid you to choose the perfect Birthstone.

You may even find one to aid stress, which Gemini's are known to have trouble with. You can check out the birthstones for your sign, and the other starsigns as well! Use your intelligence and strong intuition to decide which of the Gemini birthstones is the perfect one for you!



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#goddess #moonmother #moonmothermiami #divinefeminine...



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