Thursday, 30 June 2016

Solar Plexus Chakra Use Golden Yellow Stones To Manifest

Solar plexus chakra has a strong energy to boost manifestation. See list of power chakra crystals. Its energy is about your personal power, self esteem, manifestation, creativity & feeling centered.

from Healing Crystals For You


#crystals #crystal #healing

This vanilla smoothie is awesome! Their berry flavor is also...

This vanilla smoothie is awesome! Their berry flavor is also great I had yesterday! @sunwarriortribe #plantbasednutrition #plantbased #vegan #vegertarian #holistichealth #wellness #holistichealing #holistic #yoga #yogi #yogini #yogapractice #yogaeverydamnday #om #namasteॐ #namaste

from Purple Lotus Spiritual Healing


#spiritual #healing

ME /CFS and fibromyalgia | Overcome Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Overcome Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
is now on my pinterest ME /CFS and fibromyalgia board, see more here:


#me #cfs #fibromyalgia #holistic #holistichealing #holistichealth

Trust in the universe! #trusttheuniverse #affirmation #healing...

Trust in the universe! #trusttheuniverse #affirmation #healing #healingaffirmation #wellness #aromatherapy #yoga #yogi #yogini #yogaeverydamnday #reiki #relkihealing #reikienergy #reikimaster #spiritual #spirituality #spiritualhealing #spiritualgangster #metaphysical #miami #newage #holistichealing #holistic #holistichealth #wellness #om #namasteॐ #namaste

from Purple Lotus Spiritual Healing


#spiritual #healing

ME /CFS and fibromyalgia | Study shows why exercise magnifies exhaustion for chronic fatigue syndrome patients | Neuroscientist News

Study shows why exercise magnifies exhaustion for chronic fatigue syndrome patients | Neuroscientist News
is now on my pinterest ME /CFS and fibromyalgia board, see more here:


#me #cfs #fibromyalgia #holistic #holistichealing #holistichealth

4 Things You Need to Know When Pursuing An Ambitious Dream


“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” ~Christopher Reeve

Hi everyone, Lori here! For those of you who don’t know me, I’m the founder of Tiny Buddha.

I started this site as a community blog, in 2009, after a decade-plus battle with bulimia and depression, for two reasons:

Having isolated myself in shame for years, I knew the power of feeling like someone else has been where you stand, and someone understands what you’re going through. I wanted this to be a space that would help people feel less alone with their challenges, and more empowered to overcome them.

I also understood the cathartic, healing power of recycling your former pain into something useful for others—knowing that you’re helping people just by sharing your truth and your insights. For me, this turned experiences that were formerly painful and shameful into a source of purpose and pride.

I’m writing now to share something else I’m incredibly proud of, and also a little of what I’ve learned through this experience. But first, I should back up.

As you may recall, I shared a blog post six months back about the newly formed Tiny Buddha Productions, a film company I started with my fiancé, fellow screenwriter Ehren Prudhel.

If you haven’t read that post yet, you may want to read that now. Go ahead—it’s here. I’ll wait.

Welcome back! So why the update now?

A lot has happened in the sixth months since we decided to make a short film about loneliness and connection.

We’ve faced delays, and drama, and disappointment. We’ve questioned ourselves, our idea, and our potential. And we even considered scrapping the whole thing when it all seemed far harder, and success far less likely, than we once imagined it would be.

But we’ve pushed forward, in spite of the fears and the discomfort. We’ve waded through the guck of insecurity and uncertainty. And here we are, about to start filming our first short film tomorrow.

As I sit here with that “pinch me” feeling, with a goofy perma-grin on my face, I’d like to share a little of what I’ve learned over the past six months.

If you’re pursuing a dream, and feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, self-doubting, and scared, perhaps some of my lessons will help.

1. There’s no shame in being green.

I knew going into this there was a ton I didn’t know. Although I’d studied acting and writing in college, I didn’t study screenwriting, and I had no experience producing a film or working on a set.

In addition to what I didn’t know, there was a lot I didn’t know I didn’t know—stuff about permits, and insurance, and securing locations. Every part of this has been a learning process for me, and that can feel incredibly vulnerable.

It’s easy to feel insecure and embarrassed when you’re working with experienced people, and you feel a little ignorant.

But when I took my ego out of the equation and stopped worrying about what other people might think of me, I realized how fun it is to be at the beginning of a journey.

It reminds me of when I was in college, and I felt excited about everything—being on campus in Boston, meeting new people, learning from them, getting to share my work, and imagining possibilities for the future.

Would I feel more confident if I were an expert? Sure. But there’s nothing like the enthusiasm you feel when you’re just starting out. Some day I will be an expert, and I can only hope I’ll maintain this electric passion I feel right now.

If you too are at the beginning, remember: This feeling won’t last forever, so soak up the best and don’t worry about the worst. No one loses respect for someone just because they’re new. If anything, they highly esteem people who are embarking on an exciting, but challenging new journey—especially if they’re not just out of college.

More importantly, your experience is worth far more than their perception, so enjoy every part of this new path. This is what life’s all about—trying things that excite you and feeling giddy, nervous, and passionately alive. Let yourself bask in it.

2. Setbacks are part of the process.

As I mentioned, it’s been almost six months since we decided to do this short film. We originally planned to shoot in in the spring, after speaking to lots of people and hiring a director, who was going to bring his own crew onboard, and edit.

With the most important hire in place, I ran a T-shirt campaign to raise money to fund the film. And then the setbacks began.

The director—who I should add is a wonderful person who we’d be fortunate to work with—said there were too many locations. So we re-wrote the script.

Then he told us the budget was still too small, so we increased it, to much more than we originally expected we’d spend.

Then, after much back and forth, with all our eggs in his basket, he had to back out due to personal reasons.

As the months went on, I began to feel like the girl who cried film. I’d already publicly announced the project on the blog. I’d run a fundraiser. And there we were, seemingly back at square one.

For a while I got myself worked up and discouraged. I had no idea how to move things forward with our first project, and I also knew it would be just a small step on a much larger path. But then my fiancé and I regrouped and decided that the setbacks weren’t failures; they were part of the journey—to be expected.

We didn’t need to feel bad about them. We had to view them as par for the course—simply part of the process of doing something new and difficult.

So often we get down on ourselves when things don’t go as planned. But it’s nearly impossible to make a smart plan when you have no idea what each step will entail. The only thing you can reasonably expect when you’re doing something new is the unexpected.

The good news is, the unexpected isn’t always bad. It’s usually in putting out mini fires that we learn and grow the most. Every step of a new journey is a classroom—and remember, people pay good money for an education.

So don’t let the setbacks get you down. See them as signs you’re moving up, because they are, in fact, a part of the process.

3. It helps to hold yourself accountable.

I wrote that blog post introducing Tiny Buddha Productions for a reason: I knew that this would be hard. But once it was out there in writing, and because we also told our friends and family, it felt nearly impossible not to follow through.

I could lie to myself and say I didn’t really want this that bad, but I’d already made it abundantly clear, very publicly, that I did.

Reading that post has kept me motivated when I’ve felt like giving up. It’s reminded me that this means something to me, and it’s worth pushing through my discomfort to make it happen.

Tell people what you aspire to do, and not just casually, in passing, like it’s not that important to you. You want this. You dream about this. If you’re like me, you lie awake thinking about it, and it pops into your head first thing in the morning and when you wake in the middle of the night.

You care—a lot. And it feels vulnerable to admit that, especially since everyone will know if things don’t work out as you hoped they would. Don’t let that deter you.

Not only does sharing your intentions keep you on track, it also inspires others to do something about the faint murmur they hear in bed at night and when they open their eyes.

Everyone has something that blows their hair back. Remind them what it feels and looks like to go for it. As the saying goes, “Enthusiasm is contagious. You can start an epidemic.”

4. An experience can be worth so much more than it costs.

We raised quite a bit for this project, because filmmaking is incredibly expensive. (In fact, I was shocked to learn how much it costs to make five minutes of film.)

When I shared with a loved one how much we raised, she questioned if perhaps we should pocket the cash, or spend it on something else. “Why spend that money on something that might go nowhere when you could just keep it?” she asked.

Well, I’d positioned the T-shirt campaign as a fundraiser—so that’s one thing. But more importantly, I knew this experience would be far more valuable than what it would cost.

My fiancé and I each have our own reasons for wanting to do this, and wanting to do it together. His reasons are his to tell. For me, this is more than a project; it’s the beginning of an exciting new life.

It’s an opportunity to connect with who I was before healing consumed me; an opportunity to create something that will hopefully make an impact; and a chance to do something collaborative instead of spending so much time working on my own, from my computer.

That’s why I’m doing this film, and, I hope, many more after it: it’s something I need to do for myself, and want to do with my fiancé. If that’s not worth the risk, what is?

I realize I’m incredibly fortunate to have a means to raise money, and that not everyone has that same advantage. But we all have the ability to invest in ourselves—whether that means a portion of our savings or a portion of our time.

We all have the potential to put some of what we have toward what we want to create. I know, it can be scary to do it. You can think of a million and one reasons not to use your limited resources.

There are no guarantees. It might not work out as you hoped it would. People might say, “I told you so.”

Yes, those things are true. But things could actually turn out better than you’d hoped. And if they don’t, this could be the first step on a different journey you don’t yet know you want to take.

You don’t need a guarantee to know that taking a risk—stretching yourself and coming alive—is worth it, no matter where it leads.

Having a dream is a lot like being that little man on the moon, in the picture on top. You know you can fall, but it doesn’t matter, because you’re lost in the music and the view. I’m lost in mine right now. What’s yours?

**Want to be in our short film? We’re shooting a yoga scene in Burbank this Saturday afternoon, and we need 6-10 extras to sit or lie down on mats. (No actual yoga required; the scene takes place before class.) If you’re interested and available, drop me a line at!**

Profile photo of Lori Deschene

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. To strengthen your relationships, get her new book, Tiny Buddha's 365 Tiny Love Challenges. For inspiring posts and wisdom quotes, follow Tiny Buddha on Twitter & Facebook.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post 4 Things You Need to Know When Pursuing An Ambitious Dream appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

from Tiny Buddha


#buddha #Buddhist

Chakra Kits Explained, Use Chakra Stones In Correct Chakra Colors

Learn to use chakra kits and read what colors of stones to use to heal all chakras. See chart with list of chakra stones of the right chakra colors for healing each area of the body.

from Healing Crystals For You


#crystals #crystal #healing

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Jun 29, How to Deal with Stress

Follow this three pronged approach for how to deal with stress in the long and short term for lasting relief...

from Holistic Healing Blog


#holistic #healing

Lithium Quartz For Deep Peace, Harmony & Release Of Stress

Lithium Quartz has a deeply calming quite beautiful & harmonious vibration. It aids release of stress, tension & anxiety. Use this powerful stone for meditation & connect to the higher realms.

from Healing Crystals For You


#crystals #crystal #healing

Charaka Janapadoddhvamsaniyam Vimana: 3rd Chapter: Epidemic Diseases

The 3rd chapter of Charaka Samhitha Vimana sthana is Janapadoddhvamsaneeya Vimanam. It deals with the determination of the specific characteristics of epidemics.  अथातो जनपदोद्ध्वंसनीयं विमानं व्याख्यास्यामः||१|| इति ह स्माह भगवानात्रेयः||२|| athāto janapadoddhvaṃsanīyaṃ vimānaṃ vyākhyāsyāmaḥ||1|| iti ha smāha bhagavānātreyaḥ||2|| We shall explore the chapter on the “Determination of the specific Characteristic of Epidemic disorders”. Thus said […]

from ayurvedic home remedies, healthy lifestyle, health tips


#easy #ayurveda #ayurvedic

#affirmation #mindbodyspirit #yogapractice #yoga #yogi #yogini...

#affirmation #mindbodyspirit #yogapractice #yoga #yogi #yogini #healing #healingaffirmation #reiki #reikienergy #reikihealing #energyhealing #metaphysical #newage #miami #holistic #holistichealth #holistichealing #wellness #aromatherapy #om #namasteॐ #namaste

from Purple Lotus Spiritual Healing


#spiritual #healing

Photo | Spiritual

from Spiritual Seeker 77



Photo | Spiritual

from Spiritual Seeker 77



How Dealing with Our Emotions Can Help us Heal Chronic Pain

“The part can never be well unless the whole is well.” ~Plato

Our bodies are clever. They constantly send us messages that something isn’t right. It’s our job to tune in, listen, and act on these messages.

That headache, tight shoulders, and backache are all trying to tell us something. But sometimes the physical symptoms we experience are actually tied up in a deeper emotional pain that needs to be dealt with first.

How do I know this? It was a message I needed to learn, one that I now teach to others.

Six years ago my life fell apart. Within an eighteen-month period my marriage broke up, I lost my house in a devastating earthquake, and I had to walk away from my physiotherapy practice that I had poured my soul into for four years.

At the same time I was also experiencing chronic shoulder pain. I was suffering from regular headaches, sciatica, and insomnia. I sought help from a number of different health practitioners. At times I would get temporary relief, but it never lasted.

As a physiotherapist I knew I was doing everything right to heal my physical pain, so I could not understand why I wasn’t healing.

Not only was my physical health a mess during this time, but I was also an emotional wreck!

I felt like a failure. I was ravaged with guilt. I was scared of what the future held. And my self-esteem was at an all time low. I had stopped eating and sleeping. My weight had plummeted and I looked terrible.

It wasn’t until I stumbled across Louise Hay’s book, Heal Your Body: The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Metaphysical Way to Overcome Them, that I began to gain a better understanding of the relationship between our emotional and physical health.

This one book was the catalyst for change and healing. I realized that if I wanted to heal myself from chronic pain, I was going to have to dig deep to get to the core of all the challenges in my life.

It was the start of a journey that wasn’t easy and it wasn’t pretty. A lot of the time I wanted to bury my head in the sand. I have always been one to brush emotions to the side. “I’m fine” was my tagline.

But as I did the work, three key themes became clear.

First, I had no sense of self-worth. I didn’t see myself as important as other people. I would give everything I had to everyone else and nothing to myself. If I did, I would feel guilty.

I also have a Type A personality, I’m a high achiever, and I’m a perfectionist. I would constantly push myself to the limit, and the pressure I put on myself was immense.

Lastly, I realized that I constantly compared myself to those I perceived to be living the perfect life, and I always came up short.

I recognized that the pain I was experiencing was my body’s way of telling me I needed to slow down, take pressure of myself, and start taking care of myself.

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to change my ingrained habits and beliefs, but I also knew that if I didn’t my body would start screaming louder until I ended up seriously ill.

I started by making small changes. I began to gather knowledge from others. I took what worked for me and discarded the rest. I experimented and added in what made me feel well and healthy.

Sleep was the first thing I made a priority. I had never realized how important sleep was. It’s the time when our bodies repair and rejuvenate. One good night’s sleep doesn’t help us heal; consistently sleeping well does.

Self-care was the next thing I needed to address. I had previously thought self-care meant hour-long bubble baths, a day at the spa, or a week’s vacation in the sun sipping champagne. But I came to realize it didn’t mean any of those things.

I realized that the small things I did throughout my day were just as important—like taking five minutes in the morning to meditate before starting my day, making sure I had prepared a nourishing lunch, spending ten minutes cuddling my dogs after work, and reading a chapter of my book before I went to sleep.

Small things, consistently done over a long period of time, made for big change.

I also realized that my body had been sending me the message that my life had been out of balance for years. But I had lost the ability to tune in, listen, and connect with what it was saying.

I started practicing a simple technique that consisted of meditative breathing, scanning my body for discomfort, and then asking what it was trying to tell me.

Whenever I would feel discomfort in my body, I would ask myself, “If this pain was an emotion, what would it be?” If I answered “sadness,” I would then ask myself, “What is going on in my life right now to make me feel sad?”

I would then use practices, such as journaling, to help me work through, and release, whatever was causing me to feel sad, lonely, or fearful. With time, my emotional well-being improved, and so too did my physical symptoms.

So what are the physical signs that your emotional health may need attention? Here are just three examples that you may be able to relate to:

1. Tight, tired, and painful shoulders.

When I meet people with this problem, they often have a similar story. They believe that they need to be, and do, everything for everyone. They are literally “carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.”

2. A stiff neck.

People with stiff necks have trouble turning their head to one side. They’re often dealing with someone close to them making a choice that they don’t agree with. This decision has hurt them and they are finding it hard to “turn the other cheek.”

3. Back pain.

While disc ruptures are not uncommon, most people present with muscle spasms. Again, there is often a deep-rooted emotion playing out behind the scenes. In this scenario, it often pertains to money and finances. Their finances are restricting them from doing the things they want to do (as is their back spasm!)

Our minds and body are so closely connected. But in today’s world, where we are so overstimulated, we have become completely disconnected with ourselves.

Instead of tuning in to our body to find the answers, we tune into Google.

Big life stuff (as I like to call it) happens. There’s no escaping it. Even everyday life can cause us to feel stressed and overwhelmed.

If we don’t learn to deal with our emotions in a healthy way, they become boxed up within our body, until they are expressed in physical pain or illness.

If you are someone who experiences regular physical pain, and you are aware that your emotional well-being may be one of the reasons for this, then I encourage you to start healing by journaling on the following questions:

Does your life feel stressful at the moment, and what is causing you to feel this way?

What is one thing you can let go of, even just for now?

Do you feel overwhelmed, and what do you keep saying yes to that you could begin saying no to?

Are you taking on the emotional loads of others in your life? So often we want to help or fix those close to us, but it’s important to remember that they are on their own journey.

Are there any stories from your past that you are holding on to that need releasing?

Are “you” last on your list of priorities? If so, how can you make a little more time for yourself?

Learning to tune in and listen to your body’s messages is the first step toward preventing long-term physical damage. I encourage you to start doing this now, before it ‘s too late.

Profile photo of Nicola Judkins

About Nicola Judkins

Nicola Judkins is a physiotherapist (BPhty) and life coach helps women understand how the physical pain they are experiencing may be related to stress, overwhelm and lack of self-care in their lives. If you would like to learn how to tune in to the messages your body is sending you ‘Breathe, Feel & Ask’ (which you can get here) is a great place to start. You can also read more at

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post How Dealing with Our Emotions Can Help us Heal Chronic Pain appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

from Tiny Buddha


#buddha #Buddhist

Nausea and sickness in ME/CFS – two non-drug options that are worth considering | 29 June 2016

New guidance from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists adds further weight to the fact that two non-drug options – ginger and acupressure bands – can be helpful in relieving nausea.

BBC report:

These are non-drug options which are also worth considering when nausea occurs in ME/CFS.

However, whilst nausea and sickness can be a symptom of ME/CFS, it is important to exclude other possible medical explanations before doctors or patients conclude that this is ‘just another ME/CFS symptom’.

Medical information on acupressure bands:

More information on ginger (from Cancer Research UK):

Some people find ginger very helpful when feeling sick. People say it is particularly good for motion sickness. You can use ginger any way you like, for example as crystallised stem ginger. Or you can add freshly ground ginger to your favourite dishes, or to hot water or tea to make a soothing drink. You can try sipping ginger ale. Fizzy drinks sometimes help to reduce nausea too.

Researchers have been looking at using ginger alongside anti sickness medicines during chemotherapy. But the results so far have been mixed. So more research is needed.

Drug treatment options for nausea and vomiting. Source: patient information UK

* Cinnarizine, cyclizine, promethazine – these medicines belong to a group of medicines called antihistamines. The exact way that they work is not fully understood. It is thought that antihistamines block histamine 1 (H1) receptors in the area of the brain which creates nausea in response to chemicals in the body. They are thought to work well for nausea caused by a number of conditions including ear problems and motion (travel) sickness.

* Hyoscine – this medicine works by blocking a chemical in the brain called acetylcholine. It is a type of medicine called an antimuscarinic (or anticholinergic). It works well for nausea caused by ear problems and motion sickness.

* Chlorpromazine, haloperidol, perphenazine, prochlorperazine, levomepromazine– these medicines work by blocking a chemical in the brain called dopamine. They are useful for nausea that is caused by some cancers, radiation, and opiate medicines such as morphine and codeine. Prochlorperazine (or brand name Stemetil®) is one of the most used medicines for nausea. It works for many causes of nausea, including vertigo, ear problems and sickness in pregnancy.

* Metoclopramide – this medicine works directly on your gut. It eases the feelings of sickness by helping to empty the stomach and speed up how quickly food moves through the gut. It is often used for people with sickness due to gut problems or migraine. It is not usually used for more than a few days.

* Domperidone – this medicine works on the CTZ (an area of the brain known as the chemoreceptor trigger zone). It also speeds up the emptying of the gut. It is not usually used for more than a few days.

* Dexamethasone – this is a steroid medicine. It is a man-made version of a natural hormone produced by your own body. Dexamethasone has a wide range of actions on many parts of the body. The reason why it reduces nausea isn’t clear.

* Granisetron, ondansetron, and palonosetron – these medicines work by blocking a chemical called serotonin (5-HT) in the gut, and the brain. Serotonin (5-HT) has an action in the gut and the brain to cause nausea. These medicines are useful for controlling nausea and vomiting caused by chemotherapy.

* Aprepitant and fosaprepitant – these are newer medicines and work by blocking a chemical that acts on neurokinin receptors in the body to cause nausea. They are sometimes called neurokinin-1 receptor antagonists. They are usually given to people on a certain type of chemotherapy.

* Nabilone – it is still not clear how this medicine works to control nausea. It is normally prescribed for people who are having chemotherapy.

Medicines for nausea are available as tablets capsules, liquids, suppositories and skin patches. Some are given as injections into the muscle or directly into the vein.

Some of these medicines are also available as tablets that dissolve in the mouth against the gum. They are called buccal tablets. These medicines come in various different brand names.

Dr Charles Shepherd
Hon Medical Adviser, ME Association

from ME Association



When Mindfulness Hurts: Feeling Is the Key to Healing

Sad man leaning against wall

“You start watching your breath and all your problems are solved. It is not like that at all. You are working with the heart of your experiences, learning to turn towards them, and that is difficult and can be uncomfortable.” ~Ed Halliwell

Can mindfulness be bad for you?

I had been expecting it: Once you become a regular at it, mindfulness permeates all aspects of your life.

I only sit in meditation for twenty minutes daily (and a full hour on Sundays), but I carry its effects with me the rest of the time, elevated levels of awareness and all.

This is not to say that I constantly float on a blissful cloud. In fact, this sudden increase in mindfulness, even for someone used to deep introspection and resolutely committed to lucidity, comes at a certain cost. What I hadn’t expected was the actual weight of mindfulness.

Three months into the daily practice of mindful meditation, I had to admit that it was not solely eliciting the deep serenity I had hoped for. In fact, I realized that in some ways, I actually felt less happy than before.

I couldn’t precisely put my finger on it. All I knew was that things seemed heavier, more raw. How could that be? Wasn’t mindfulness supposed to help me transcend the vicissitudes of life? What was I doing wrong? Was I the only one in that odd situation?

I decided to do some research. It didn’t take long before I discovered evidence that mindfulness can indeed have “side effects.”

A quick online search showed me that I’m actually in very good company. Mindfulness, and the practice of meditation, has reportedly entailed significant “downsides” for a number of enthusiasts.

We come to mindfulness in the hope that it will constitute the path to peacefulness, often unaware that this path is paved with cracked and bumpy stones. Only after stepping onto that road do you realize how uncomfortable the process can be.

Just like therapy, meditating is difficult, sometimes painful.

The first and most obvious reason is that sitting still, quieting the mind, and focusing on the breath presents a real challenge. Many beginners and non-beginners complain of an overwhelming restlessness or, on the contrary, of an irresistible tendency to fall asleep (I belong to the latter category).

The second reason is that mindfulness has a way of annihilating our blissful ignorance. It offers an unexpected and unparalleled insight into our areas of vulnerability, the sides of us that we are not always prepared to welcome nonjudgmentally.

To get the most of it, one must recognize that the practice of mindfulness is dirty, hard work.

According to Willoughby Britton, a Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Brown University Medical School, the downsides of mindfulness range from mild to severe, and can manifest in various ways—from unexpected anger and anxiety all the way to depression and psychosis.

Mindfulness can exacerbate a number of mental health conditions, bring back to the surface traumatic memories, or simply force you to deal with things that had conveniently been swept under the rug.

Whatever your initial levels of stability (or instability), a lot can emerge in the first stages of the regular practice of meditation. Ready or not, you have to deal with it. It is disconcerting at best. In my case, it was sometimes downright depressing.

Picture a handful of Band-Aids applied to different spots on your body. Each Band-Aid conveniently covers an injury that you’re happy to ignore (or so you think).

Mindfulness is like peeling off the Band-Aids, one by one. It hurts.

Then you discover what’s under them: A bad cut here. A big bruise there. The occasional infected wound. A few badly healed scars. Mindfulness makes it hard to ignore that you are, under all those Band-Aids, actually hurting, or at least not entirely recovered.

To add insult to the injury, mindfulness has a way of preventing you from applying new Band-Aids. Things that we considered pleasant, and that help us deal with life’s vagaries, lose their appeal once we become aware of their true purpose and associated costs.

We use, in our daily lives, an arsenal of strategies, often without knowing it: thinking patterns, daily habits, activities we view as pleasurable “add-ons,” such as eating, shopping, staring at a screen, and so on. We don’t perceive those “pursuits” as Band-Aids. Aren’t they the spice of life?

The regular practice of meditation and a more mindful approach to life, however, sheds some light on our dependence. Any behavior that resists modification might indicate an addiction, even if it was just to chocolate, new running shorts, or social media.

I am now, more than ever, aware of my coping mechanisms, aware that rather than making life interesting, they mostly patch up an aspect of my existence that requires attention.

If I feel bored, tired, or stressed, no amount of sweets, sports gear, or Internet surfing will truly fill the void or fulfill the need.

Where I would mindlessly resolve to an old habit, this new knowledge stops me in my tracks. I pause, observe, notice the underlying emotion or sensation.

If I’m under work-related stress, such as a quickly approaching deadline, or a recalcitrant passage to translate, I will often have a sudden craving for sweets, or feel the pressing need to check my Facebook page. It’s not a coincidence, I know that now, but I needed mindfulness to realize it fully.

Now, instead of walking to the cupboard or opening a new tab in my browser, I stay put and take a deep breath. I skip the coping mechanism and refrain applying a new Band-Aid or replacing an old one.

Even my thought processes are modified. When certain situations repeatedly elicited the kind of stress that requires a Band-Aid, I was forced to reconsider, at least to a certain extent, the choices I had been making in various areas of my life: my career path, other types of commitments, and even some relationships. I realized I had too much on my plate and that I needed to respect my limits.

Accepting the fact that I indeed have limits was no small feat. Even if I have long been aware of some of my “rationalizations” and “compensations,” I have never faced life with such clarity, honesty, and courage. I am proud of it. I am also unsettled.

In spite of this, I am still fully committed to continue with my mindfulness practice. The cans of worms I am opening can be a handful, but I was carrying them anyway, and they were wearing me down. I choose to deal with them.

Things might feel very raw, but they also feel very real. I can already sense a new level of lightness and freedom on the other side of this demanding exercise.

I invite you to give it a try too. As we move along in our mindfulness practice, I trust that we can all find our own sweet spot, the place where an increased awareness meets a renewed sense of well-being.

For many, this will mean starting slow. When you incorporate mindful meditation into your life, don’t go for the three-day retreat right away. Not only will it be too demanding, it might even backfire.

Instead, simply find a quiet place where you can sit for at least five minutes, in silence, every day, and focus on the breath.

You may feel uncomfortable at first, as the feelings you formerly numbed or avoided emerge. Don’t let that deter you. If you embrace the discomfort, you’ll eventually gain the clarity needed to acknowledge and heal old wounds, break unhealthy patterns, and generally step onto the path to a more authentic life.

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About Julie Saint-Mleux

When Julie is not busy peeling off her Band-Aids or contemplating the reasons why she put them on in the first place, she enjoys writing about health and wellness, and sharing slowly acquired (and often misplaced) pieces of wisdom. You can find her blog at, and follow her on Facebook.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post When Mindfulness Hurts: Feeling Is the Key to Healing appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

from Tiny Buddha


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Spiritual healing tips of the week! #yogini #yogapractice...

Spiritual healing tips of the week! #yogini #yogapractice #spiritual #spiritualhealing #spirituality #reiki #reikihealing #reikienergy #reikimaster #yoga #energyhealing #wellness #miami #metaphyiscal #newage #wellness #holistichealing #healing #om #namasteॐ #namaste

from Purple Lotus Spiritual Healing


#spiritual #healing

Tuesday, 28 June 2016

Two Steps to Battle Depression

Man walking barefoot on grass

One of the marks of depression is rumination, or constantly going over the bad things that have happened in your life, with an obsessive belief that all is lost, and that it’s probably your fault. A new study out of Rutgers has looked at the combined effects of meditation and exercise on treatment of major depressive disorder, and specifically, on rumination.

It’s known that exercise and meditation, when done separately, can ease depression, but researchers wanted to see what would happen if they combined the two. Exercise is known to help with creation of new brain cells, and “effortful mental training” helps to keep brain cells alive that might otherwise die off. Recently, there has been evidence that in individuals where there is depression, there is also a smaller hippocampus. Their thinking was that by combining exercise and meditation as mental training, they might be able to help encourage a more active and robust hippocampus, a structure in the brain that is actively involved in learning.

Researchers developed a combined mental and physical training, (MAP), where they had participants spend 30 minutes in focused attention meditation, followed by 30 minutes of aerobic exercise. They worked with two sets of participants, both those with major depressive disorder, and those with no mental health issues, and both sets reported less symptoms of depression, as well as less rumination after twice weekly sessions for 8 weeks.

If you want to try MAP at home, follow these steps, based on the Rutgers study:

  1. 20 minutes of focused attention meditation. Sit in an upright position, and focus your attention on your breath. When you notice your mind has wandered, and you are caught up in a thought, acknowledge that and bring your attention back to your breath. You can count your breaths if that helps you to keep the focus there.
  2. 10 minutes walking meditation. In walking meditation, let your awareness be on your feet, paying particular attention to the weight shifting from one foot to the other as you slowly walk.
  3. 30 minutes of aerobic exercise. Spend 5 minutes warming up your body, and then spend 30 minutes doing some kind of aerobic exercise. Keep the intensity at a range of 5 - 7 on a 10 point scale, in other words, moderate intensity. Follow up with a minute cool down.

from Spirituality & Health Magazine blogs


#spiritual #health

Moss Agate Creates Grounded Balance In Your Life

Moss Agate grounds you, corrects left-right brain imbalances and stimulates creativity. Spiritual metaphysical properties aid abundance and attract nature spirits.

from Healing Crystals For You


#crystals #crystal #healing

Photo | Spiritual

from Spiritual Seeker 77



Photo | Spiritual

from Spiritual Seeker 77



Loving @sunwarriortribe chocolate and mocha powders!...

Loving @sunwarriortribe chocolate and mocha powders! #sattvicdiet #wellness #plantbasednutrition #vegan #vegetarian #holistic #holistichealing #miami #yoga #yogi #yogapractice #yogini #om #namaste #namasteॐ

from Purple Lotus Spiritual Healing


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Check out my latest article on #wellness...

Check out my latest article on #wellness #holistic #holistichealing #yoga #yogi #yogapractice #yogini #sattvic #sattvicdiet #miami #om #namasteॐ #namaste

from Purple Lotus Spiritual Healing


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#om #healing #healing #yoga #yogi #yogapractice #meditation...

#om #healing #healing #yoga #yogi #yogapractice #meditation #sanskrit #reiki #reikihealing #reikimaster #reikienergy #energyhealing #metaphysical #spiritualhealing #spirituality #spiritual #newage #aromatherapy #wellness #holistic #holistichealing #namasteॐ #namasteॐ

from Purple Lotus Spiritual Healing


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Top 10 forms of yoga to choose for beginners

The second year of International Day of Yoga has just passed by on 21st June. With every passing year, more people are getting drawn towards practise of yoga, and this...

from Ayurveda India – Ayurvedic Remedies | Holistic Health


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The ‘all in the mind’ myth of myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome | Nursing in Practice | 27 June 2016

From Nursing in Practice | 27 June 2016 | Article written by Dr Keith Geraghty

The ‘all in the mind’ myth of myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome

Health professionals should be made aware that ME/CFS is not a psychological illness and in order to improve patient care, nurses need to better understand this illness and its impact on patients.

Nurses often witness close-up the impact of acute and chronic illness on patients. Myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME)/chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) is one illness that nurses may encounter that causes profound life changes for many sufferers. This controversial illness is sometimes presented as a psychosomatic disorder that requires psychological treatment. However, there is no compelling evidence that ME/CFS is a mental health condition and increasing evidence shows it is a biological disease with a range of complex symptoms. This article discusses how the ‘all in the mind’ myth of ME/CFS has permeated both medical discourse and popular culture, with negative consequences for patients living with this poorly understood condition.

1. Is ME/CFS really a mental illness?

In a recent Nursing in Practice article, Roberts (2016)1 suggests that ME/CFS is a psychosomatic disorder, best treated with psychotherapy and mindfulness. The erroneous idea that mindfulness is an optimum treatment masks a hidden and more important story; that very little is understood about ME/CFS and many health professionals are skeptical about whether ME/CFS is even a real illness. For example, NICE guidelines do not mention mindfulness.2 A GP once exclaimed to me that ‘all these patients need is anti-depressants and a good pair of running shoes’. While discussing my ME/CFS research at a hospital in Leicester a nurse offered me a similar opinion by suggesting that ‘ME/CFS patients would get out of bed if you paid them £5000 per day’. Such negative views among doctors and nurses are not uncommon and are perhaps fueled by misinformation about the illness being psychological.

In a recent book, All in Your Head: True Stories of Imaginary Illness,3 Dr Suzanne O’Sullivan, a London-based consultant neurologist, includes a chapter on ME/CFS. O’Sullivan argues ME/CFS is strongly associated with psychological complaints and illness beliefs. In contrast, a growing body of scientific evidence suggests that ME/CFS is not an imagined illness, nor is it a psychological condition, but a complex biological disease that is often triggered by an infection that causes observable neuro-immune dysfunction. Far from being ‘all in the mind’, sufferers often experience life-changing and disabling physical symptoms and physiological abnormalities (see Table 1).

Table 1: Biological abnormalities observed in ME/CFS

· Alterations in grey and white brain matter.

· Muscle cell dysfunction.

· Immune cell abnormalities.

· Raised inflammatory markers.

· Cellular and oxidative stress.

· Autonomic irregularities.

· Cardiovascular deficiencies.

· Orthostatic intolerance.

The World Health Organization (WHO) classifies ME as a neurological disorder in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10: G 93.3; WHO, 1992).4

The US Institute of Medicine (2015) conducted an extensive review of the evidence and concluded that ME/CFS is ‘a serious, chronic, complex, systemic disease’.5

The US National Institutes for Health confirmed ME/CFS as a disabling physical illness and stated that the medical profession has been responsible for causing distress to patients with ME/CFS by ignoring patients’ calls for medical help and failing to adequately research the disease.6

2. So why is ME/CFS treated with psychotherapy?

Psychiatrists have long been interested in attempting to explain the medically unexplained. Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychiatry, explored the connection between the mind and health. The famous French neurologist J. Charcot believed traumatic life events may bring about a form of hysteria or paralysis in patients; while George Beard put forward the theory of neurasthenia (exhaustion of energy within the nervous system).7 These theories continue to influence how doctors perceive medically unexplained illnesses, particularly ME/CFS.

A brief time-line of how ME (nuero-immune disease) became CFS (a psychosomatic fatigue syndrome)

· 1955: Melvin Ramsay describes a viral outbreak illness among staff at the Royal Free Hospital in London as a post-infectious disease affecting brain, nerves and muscle tissue (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis).

· 1970s: UK psychiatrists McEvedy and Beard state that ME is nothing more than a case of ‘mass hysteria’.

· 1980s: A London newspaper runs a story about ME being ‘Yuppie Flu’. Since then, ME has been indelibly linked with stressed-out professionals complaining about exhaustion.

· 1988: The US Centers for Disease Control recommend replacing ME with a new syndrome (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome).

· 1990s: UK psychiatrist Simon Wessely argues ME (now CFS) is a biopsychosocial syndrome, partly created by social trends and maintained by patients’ illness beliefs and behaviours.

· 2000s: Colleagues of Wessely, including nurse/researcher Professor Trudie Chalder, conduct clinical trials of psychotherapy to treat CFS, including the £5 million PACE trial testing cognitive behavioural therapy and graded exercise therapy.8

· 2007: The UK National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) conducts a review and recommends CBT and GET for the treatment of ME/CFS.2 This decision is criticised by ME/CFS patient groups who deem CBT and GET inappropriate treatments. In particular, GET attracts much criticism.

· 2015: A large patient survey finds CBT has little impact on the condition: 74% of patients report that GET makes their symptoms worse, while simple pacing is preferred by patients.9 Such concerns are echoed in scientific studies that suggest exercise therapy may be harmful, given biological abnormalities found in ME/CFS.10

3. So, does cognitive therapy or exercise therapy help anyone with ME/CFS?

The answer to this question is rather complex. ME/CFS is an umbrella term often used for patients with ongoing unexplained fatigue. Hooper (2006) points out that ‘Amorphous definitions and diagnostic symptom criteria have contaminated study cohorts and corrupted research data’.11 Essentially, it may be difficult to differentiate patients with ME/CFS from patients with fatigue or depression, given the generality of the diagnostic criteria for CFS: patients are often lumped together in studies, with depressed patients responding better to CBT compared with ME/CFS patients.12 In addition, CBT may help with the secondary depression or anxiety that occurs in most illness states. Clinical trials of CBT and GET tend to recruit mild to moderately unwell CFS patients, as more severe cases are too unwell to take part. Yet, even if we accept these research biases, the evidence for the success of psychological or exercise therapies in ME/CFS is unconvincing:

· Cochrane review:A meta-analysis found that while CBT and/or GET may benefit some patients with ME/CFS in the short term, the benefits are short-lived and have little impact on restoring physical function over the long term.13

· PACE trial:The largest clinical trial of CBT and GET for CFS reported that 22% of patients recovered following CBT/GET added to standard care, while only 7% did after standard care alone.14 However, ‘recovery’ here did not mean a return to normal physical function. A patient could be deemed recovered with a SF-36 (quality of life) score of 60/100 or higher,8 even though a score of 65/100 indicates severe disability with 57/100 being a score of patients with Class II congestive heart failure.15 At follow-up, two years after treatment, there was no clear benefit of adding CBT or GET to standard medical care.8

· FINE trial:A study of nurse-provided community-based CBT and GET for 296 CFS patients failed to find any evidence for the long-term effectiveness of these therapies.16FINE stood for ‘Fatigue Intervention by Nurses Evaluation’. CBT-GET was compared against a supportive listening treatment. The FINE investigators found no statistically significant benefits to either pragmatic rehabilitation (CBT-GET) or supportive listening at 70 weeks. The authors concluded that the community setting was inappropriate, rather than the psychotherapy treatment.

4. Why is it important to know the facts?

In a recent Centers for Disease Control ‘Grand Rounds’ event (2016) discussing ME/CFS research, Professor Anthony Komaroff of Harvard University stated that the medical profession were wrong to adopt the name Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in 1988, as this term led to inaccurate perceptions of the illness. Komaroff points out that that there are thousands of published articles on biological dysfunction in ME/CFS, with no compelling evidence to suggest the illness is psychogenic (an illness of the mind).16

Many ME/CFS sufferers and advocacy groups are deeply concerned about the portrayal of the disorder as a psychological illness in medical publications and the wider media. Misinformation may negatively impact patients. Patient surveys consistently reveal that many ME/CFS patients experience medical scepticism, difficult interactions with health professionals and poor care quality (AfME, 2001).17 Sufferers report finding it difficult accessing benefits and social care and often have to fend off accusations of laziness and hypochondria – perhaps a consequence of the perception that the illness is a self-generated psychological illness.

The 25% ME Group, a charity that supports the most severely ill sufferers, state that the medical establishment has largely ignored these ME/CFS patients.18 Many are housebound or bedbound, with family members as full-time care-givers.

We must consider the harrowing case of Miss Sophia Mirza, a young ME sufferer forcibly removed from her home and sectioned under the Mental Health Act to impose psychiatric treatment on her. Miss Mirza died in 2005 and is one of the first patients in the UK to have ME as the official cause of death. The reality that ME/CFS kills some patients and dramatically shortens life expectancy is rarely reported in the media. In addition, ME/CFS sufferers are six times more likely to commit suicide compared to the general population;19 most likely as the result of having to deal with debilitating symptoms, such as chronic pain and sleep deprivation, but perhaps also having to deal with feelings of social isolation and poor medical treatment.

5. What can nurses do to support ME/CFS patients?

Many nurses will encounter ME/CFS patients, particularly in primary care. Nurses often have the capacity to form close therapeutic relationships with patients. Offering empathy and understanding to patients experiencing distressing symptoms is a central part of the nursing role. In the absence of a cure for ME/CFS, nurses are well placed to provide supportive care. By understanding the symptoms generated by the illness, nurses may be able to offer patients better care. ME/CFS severity varies from mild to severe and patients experience the illness in different ways. Some sufferers may be able to continue work on a limited basis, while others may be bed-bound, reliant on family and carers. Retired nurse Greg Crowhurst, a care-giver to a wife with severe ME/CFS, writes eloquently about how nurses may support patients with the illness.19

Practical tips for nursing practice are as follows:

· Sufferers experience profound fatigue – nurses may be able to ensure patients are not left in waiting areas for long periods of time.

· Sufferers experience cognitive problems – nurses may assist patients in medical consultations, perhaps asking whether the patient understands the information provided.

· Sufferers experience sensory overload – nurses may ask patients if they require a quiet area or darkened room, or on home visits, nurses may avoid causing sensory distress by speaking quietly and ensuring mobile phones are turned off.

· Sufferers symptoms vary and fluctuate – nurses should liaise with family members or care-givers to get a personalised account of the patient’s health status and care needs.

· Sufferers often feel disbelieved and anxious – nurses may reassure patients, particularly if they convey empathy and knowledge of the illness to the patient.

Nurses also have an another important role as advocates for ME/CFS patients, helping to liaise between the patient and doctor and also helping to promote the patient voice in the public domain. However, to fulfill this important role, nurses need to better understand the illness and to understand that ME/CFS is by no means ‘all-in-then-mind’.

Conclusion: The key message for nurses

Most people feel fatigued following illness, stressful events, or after working long hours. This is quite different from the severe fatigue and the range of symptoms that patients with ME/CFS endure, including: unrelenting painful joints and muscles; cognitive dysfunction, including memory problems; gastrointestinal complaints; transient paralysis; hypersensitivity to light, noise and touch; unrefreshing sleep; post-exertional malaise after minimal effort; and the inability to maintain an upright posture for any significant period. Overwhelming evidence shows that these symptoms are not psychosomatic. Nurses have a valuable role to play in assisting and supporting patients with ME/CFS. Nurses should not underestimate the power and importance of the nursing position to relieve suffering, prevent harm and promote better care for ME/CFS patients.


1. Roberts D. Diagnosing and managing chronic fatigue syndrome. Nursing in Practice 2016, 89.

2. NICE. Chronic fatigue syndrome/myalgic encephalomyelitis (or encephalopathy) – Diagnosis and management of CFS/ME in adults and children. NICE 2007, 53.

3. O’Sullivan S. All in Your Head: True Stories of Imaginary Illness, 2016.

4. WHO. International Classification of Diseases, Tenth Revision (ICD-10). WHO 1992; G93.3.

5. IOM (Institute of Medicine). Beyond myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome: redefining an illness. Washington, DC; 2015. ISBN: 978-0-309-31689-7.

6. Green CR, Cowan P, Elk R, O’Neil KM, Rasmussen AL. National Institutes of Health pathways to prevention workshop: Advancing the research on Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome. Annals of Internal Medicine 2015;16;162(12):860-865.

7. Beard G. Neurasthenia, or nervous exhaustion. The Boston Medical and Surgical Journal 1869;217-221.

8. White PD, Goldsmith KA, Johnson AL et al. Recovery from chronic fatigue syndrome after treatments given in the PACE trial. Psychological Medicine 2013;43(10):2227-2235.

9. ME Association. ‘ME/CFS Illness Management Survey Results: No decisions about me without me’. Patient Survey, May 2015.

10. Twisk F, Geraghty K. Deviant Cellular and Physiological Responses to Exercise in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Jacobs Journal of Physiology 2015;1(2):007, 2015.

11. Hooper M. Gibson Inquiry – Day 1 April 18th 2006 – Group Testimonies, Comments by Professor Malcolm Hooper 21st April, 2006.

12. Jason LA, Torres-Harding S, Brown M et al. Predictors of change following participation in non-pharmacologic interventions for CFS. Tropical Medicine and Health 2008;36(1):23-32. DOI: 10.2149/tmh.36.23.

13. Price JR, Mitchel E, Tidy E, Hunot V. Cognitive behaviour therapy for chronic fatigue syndrome in adults. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2008, Issue 3.

14. Sharpe M, Goldsmith KA, Johnson AL, Chalder T, Walker J, White PD. Rehabilitative treatments for chronic fatigue syndrome: long-term follow-up from the PACE trial. The Lancet Psychiatry 2015a;2(12):1067-1074.

15. Juenger J, Schellberg D, Kraemer S, Haunstetter A, Zugck C, Herzog W, Haass M. Health related quality of life in patients with congestive heart failure: comparison with other chronic diseases and relation to functional variables. Heart 2002;87(3):235-241.

16. Wearden A, Dowrick C, Chew-Graham C et al. Nurse led, home based self help treatment for patients in primary care with chronic fatigue syndrome: randomised controlled trial. British Medical Journal 2010;340:c1777.

16. Komaroff AL. Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: A Real Illness. Annals of Internal Medicine 2015;162:871-872.

17. Action for ME. ‘Severely neglected’. Patient Survey, 2001.

18. 25% ME Group. Stakeholder Response to NICE CG53 Three Yearly Review, Nov, 2010. January 2016).

19. Roberts E, Wessely S, Chalder T et al. Mortality of people with chronic fatigue syndrome: a retrospective cohort study in England and Wales from the South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust Biomedical Research Centre (SLaM BRC) Clinical Record Interactive Search (CRIS) Register, Lancet, (published online Feb 9.), 2016.

20. Crowhurst G. Supporting people with severe myalgic encephalomyelitis. Nursing Standard 2005;19(21):38-43

About the Author
Dr Keith Geraghty
Honorary Research Fellow, Centre for Primary Care, University of Manchester

from ME Association



4 Relationship Traps to Avoid & Other Tips to Keep Your Love Strong

“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom

When I started dating, I did a terrible job of it.

I fell in love at the turn of a unique smile and fell out of it with the first sign of a stubborn bad habit. Despite that, I was a serial monogamist. I didn’t know how to develop the mental fortitude one needed to end things when they were ready to be ended, so I let them crawl on.

Teenage emotions are hard. Adult ones are hard, too.

Three years, four years, three and a half years—I spent a full decade of my life, most of my twenties, in frustrating relationships that had started out as the loves of my life and turned into apathetic slogs of sharing rent and little else.

I thought it meant I was stable. I thought not giving up said I could handle the difficulties of real life, marriage, and everything that came with it.

The truth was I didn’t like to give up, so I tried to make each relationship perfect.

In doing so, I made myself worse.

Boyfriends and I would always fight: Why wouldn’t they help with dinner? Why wouldn’t they ever get off the computer? Why wouldn’t they try to get a better job?

Sometimes, my complaints were legitimate, and they should have addressed them. But I didn’t do a good job of communicating those things even when they were.

The more boyfriends failed to live up to my expectations, the more frustrated, angry, and hurt I’d get. Instead of realizing that we just weren’t right for one another, I drove myself down with constant, anxious questions: Why doesn’t he care enough about me to even eat dinner with me?

With each relationship, my self-esteem dropped proportionately. By the end of the last one, before my now-fiancé and I started dating, I’d started taking anxiety medication, gained weight, and developed a deep nervousness in social situations from lack of being in them.

I’d changed from someone who was happy with herself to someone who accepted whatever was on offer. I lost both my self-respect and my ability to confidently love another person in the process.

I had never wanted my life to be like that. I wanted synergy; I wanted to be one-half of a power couple. Sadly, it took me many years, and many stagnant relationships, to do something about it.

The Problem with My Serial Monogamy

Toward the end of my last failed relationship, I realized that all of these relationships followed the same structure: I was madly in love, it faded, we argued all the time, I cried a lot, they ignored me a lot, we inevitably said something we regretted, it ended much too late.

And I was tired of it. I hated feeling like we’d both come out worse from a relationship than better. Relationships are supposed to be synergistic; they’re meant to take two people and create something stronger than each person was individually.

If you’re going to be in one, it should be something that makes you greater.

That’s what I wanted: something proactive, intensive—something we both learned from, even if it didn’t last. I wanted to grow with my partner, whether it be growing old together or just growing stronger before parting.

So my most recent ex (the only one I’m still friends with) and I ended our relationship the best way we knew how, and I set off on a mission. For the next nine months of my life, I was on a quest to figure out how I could have that synergistic, intentional love.

I researched the best way I knew how: I Googled “How to have a good relationship.”

(You can laugh.)

The Internet has a lot of crazy ideas on how to answer that question. Of all the crap I sifted through, three suggestions have held. They’ve shown me how to love with intention—how to build a sound foundation so the relationship doesn’t crumble at the first fight.

Relationship Mission Statements

I’m a Ravenclaw-Capricorn-ENFP, so I love writing things out. Despite also having a business degree, it never occurred to me that mission statements could be for more than businesses and non-profits. Guess what: You can write one for a relationship, too.

And unlike businesses, the value of a relationship mission statement isn’t in having something nice to add to your FAQ; it’s in the writing process itself.

When you write a relationship mission statement, you’re forced to think about what you want to gain from the relationship and what you’re willing to put in. When two people do them together, they can be powerful.

My fiancé and I did these at the beginning of our relationship. The conversation we had afterward where we both talked about our statements together was invaluable because, before there was ever any awkwardness and before there were any fights or hurt feelings, we both knew what we wanted and where we wanted to go.

On a personal level, it showed me my own direction. I needed to know that so I could be intentional in my relationship.

How Do You Write a Relationship Mission Statement?

Well, I believe they shouldn’t be too rigidly defined. They should be natural and truthful, and the structure they take on should vary with your own values.

You should include key things: what you will do, what you won’t do, things you might need help with, and what you want the relationship to be. Beyond that, put in whatever feels right.

Here are some examples of how I answered those questions in my own Relationship Mission Statement for Nathan:

What will you do in your relationship?

I will be available to you.

I will respect you, empathize with you, and care for you.

What bad habits do you acknowledge that you may need to be called out on?

I will apologize when I’m wrong, although sometimes you may have to drag it out of me, and sometimes it may take me a week before I come to it on my own.


I will undoubtedly get moody every now and then, but I will try not to take it out on you. If I do, I will not get moodier when you call me out (because you’d better, although you also better be nice to me when I’ve had a bad day and feel like being whiny and eating macaroni and cheese with cut-up hotdogs for dinner). I will be nice to you and make you mac & cheese & hotdogs when you’re feeling whiny, too. I will call you on your stuff when it’s gone on long enough.

What do you promise not to do in your relationship?

I will not be petty. I will not be spiteful. I will never speak to you with contempt, dismiss your ideas or opinions, or give you the silent treatment when I’m mad at you.

What do you expect from your relationship?

I will help you grow, and watch you grow through your own efforts. I will stand next to you when you need me there, and stand back when you need to do it yourself. I will be my own person and allow you to be yours.

And I sum it all up with what matters most:

I will not give up when things get difficult, but I will let you go if it ever comes to be what you need to be happy. I will help you find what makes you happy, and help you achieve it. I will do everything with intention.

I promise you, so long as I’m with you, we will be greater together than the sum of us apart.

Weekly Check-Ins

Every week, we have Monday Night Talks.

In the beginning, these involved both of us being totally honest and sharing the things we felt good about that week and the things that upset us, along with a rating of how we currently felt about our relationship (1-10). Now, we skip the rating because we’re consistently in the 8-10 range, but it was a great metric for us at the beginning.

Why? Because choosing a number is easy starting point for explaining “Why.”

It’s easy to assume everything’s great because you think it’s great, but when you’re hit with an unexpected “I give us a 5 this week,” you’re forced to remember the other person’s feelings.

Monday Night Talks is our favorite tool. It has saved us from falling into that trap of getting angry, not saying anything, and then blowing up about it months later.

These chats need to be a set date, every week—not a “whenever” chat.

If you don’t set the date and stick to it every week, then you won’t get comfortable being so open with one another. Then, when you have a major grievance to air, you’ll be more likely to sit on it or get passive-aggressive about it.

Developing strong communication habits early is key. Not only does it help your partner, but it also helps you. Constant, honest communication builds trust and reduces the urge to be defensive. If your relationship’s already in progress, then it’s not too late to start, but the earlier, the better.

It makes your relationship stronger when you’re both able to confidently give and receive feedback. Without it, confidence is hard to come by. Be sure to give feedback with intention; don’t be passive aggressive, don’t be nasty.

Beware the Four Horsemen

Dr. John Gottman found that there were four habits in couples that predicted divorce: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. He called these the Four Horsemen.


This is when you make it personal. If you have a grievance, make it known directly. Instead of “You never listen to me,” try “This is important to me, and it upsets me when it looks like you’re not listening. Can you set your phone aside for a few minutes while we talk?”

(I promise, talking this way gets easier and less awkward.)


This was the hardest for my fiancé and me. It’s not easy to admit you’re wrong. Learning not to get defensive when the other person brought up a legitimate concern (not criticism) was so beneficial.

We are rarely 100% innocent in fights. Take a deep breath and listen to the other person. When you’re busy trying to defend yourself, you can’t listen. If you can’t listen, you can’t solve the problem.


This often shows up in relationships that have had a history of criticism and defensiveness. Mocking, sarcasm, rolling your eyes, and scoffing doesn’t make you the better person. They make you someone who wants to destroy your own relationship. Because that’s what contempt will do.

I promise you: Rolling your eyes will not make your partner suddenly see that you’re right.


You may find yourself tempted to give in to the silent treatment. Do yourself a favor and don’t. Be honest: Does it really make you happier to stonewall your partner? Does it show that you value the other person? Or does it just drag the fight out longer?

Stonewalling can also include picking up your cell phone to text while the other person is talking, walking out of the room, and saying things like “Forget it.”

I believe knowing and avoiding these four habits can save many relationships. It has saved mine. Being conscious of all of them has forced me to pause when I get angry or annoyed. I ask myself if what I’m tempted to say is intentional or lashing out. If it doesn’t benefit our relationship, I don’t say it. This has to go both ways, so get your partner on board with communication early and often.

You Get What You Create, Not What You Expect

My relationship isn’t your relationship, but I’ve found so much positivity in these few proactive changes, and I hope even one of them can help you. So many other couples suffer from the Four Horsemen, but it is possible not to fall into these relationship traps.

You just need to be intentional and respectful to yourself and the other person. Create the relationship you want with your partner with intention. Be mindful and choose a mindful partner. It’s okay if you both have to learn as you go along. It’s okay if you stumble; acknowledge it, correct it, and move on. Don’t hold grudges.

Improving my skill with relationships has helped me in other areas, too.

My anxiety has plummeted. I’m no longer constantly stressed. I’ve found time again for things that I once loved and let fall to the side. I’ve accomplished exponentially more in my personal life since adding these changes to my relationships (the Four Horsemen are also applicable to friends and family) than I did in the entire decade I trudged through those previous relationships.

When you’re not fighting through a toxic relationship (romantic or otherwise), you have the time and energy to grow. You can have passions. You can create legacies.

Don’t forget that you’re one-half of every relationship you’re in. Don’t forget the other person is the other half. It takes both of you to make the whole. Create the whole with intention.

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About Holly Rollins

Holly is a project manager who teaches inspired but overwhelmed women how to develop an Alchemist’s Brain so they can take their dreams and turn them into their legacy. She loves practical minimalism, trying to get into yoga handstands, and exploring her city. You can learn to become an Alchemist and create your Magnum Opus here.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post 4 Relationship Traps to Avoid & Other Tips to Keep Your Love Strong appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

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Monday, 27 June 2016

Fire Agate Sends Negative Energy Back Builds Impermeable Shield

Fire Agate builds impermeable shield, sends negative energy back. Aids psychic protection, boosts creativity & sexuality, works within lower three chakras, makes you feel good to be alive!

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Strong Navel Center for Life

<em>Edit Blog entry</em> Strong Navel Center for Life

The other day I got an email from a friend. She wanted to know how I stay balanced while on tour as a musician especially when things get tough. I gave it some thought and didn't really know how to respond just in that moment. The answer however, came last night, when things got challenging in our household.

My seven year old daughter was asking to see if her aunt had sent her a message on my phone. In our family, we have a rule that we do not engage in media at bedtime. This has proven to be very helpful in being able to wind down. For this reason, I had said no to her request to get on the phone and she was upset. As a parent, these kinds of experiences can whip you right into reaction and worst of all, the no return "freak out stage." I remember, as she lay in the hallway, refusing to get up and brush her teeth, I prayed for grace. This led my awareness to my navel center. From this awareness a clear calm "no" emanated from my navel center and out of my mouth. Moments after this, my daughter made a dramatic crying sound that perhaps went a little too far, because she cracked up. Just like that, it was over. I joined her in giggling and we finished our bedtime routine.

The next morning I knew the answer to my friend's email. The capacity to handle stress in the moment and rise above it, with your love and consciousness intact, comes from the miracle of grace and a strong navel center. Grace, I feel, comes from the Divine and although we cannot control if we get it or not, we can ask. I have found that it is within this asking process that the truth is always revealed.

Now, something that is totally within our control is the navel center. In Kundalini Yoga, the navel center is a key energy point. It is in the navel center that there is a mixing of Praana (upward moving life force energy), and Apaana (downward moving energy of elimination and death). When this mix is complete and the sum total is at a neutral zero point, the Kundalini energy, the unbroken experience of consciousness and the flow of life, can rise up the spine bringing deep healing to the being. As my spiritual teacher Yogi Bhajan said,

"Kundalini is the cycle, the circle, of the entire productivity of this Earth and all there is." (1)

Coming to this place of neutrality is no easy task when we are living in the ways of the world. But when we access these ancient technologies, it is as easy to experience, as a child allows giggles to heal her. I have experienced this sensation time and time again through the practice of Kundalini Yoga which encompasses yoga postures, breath, Mantra (sacred chant), and awareness. The focal point of all of this activity is right at the navel center. So, let's understand exactly where this is in our body.

If you take your three fingers, index, middle, and ring finger and place them right below your belly button, with the top of your index finger just lining the bottom of your belly point, find where your ring finger lies against your belly. The navel rests in the center of your being in between this point and your spine. The size of it is like a robin's egg. It is not only where the Kundalini energy can rise, but also has incredible benefits as an energy center in our body. It is within the navel center that we have the capacity to hold our ground. It is the center of Chi, as seen and experienced in many spiritual traditions. When our navel center is strong we are secure, we are able to stand up for ourselves, and for others from a place of truth and love. We vibrate courage. 

For this reason, my spiritual teacher, Yogi Bhajan, taught that it is really important to keep your navel center strong and in balance. Just the simple practice of Kundalini Yoga has incredible benefits for the navel center. However, Yogi Bhajan also gave numerous exercises to strengthen and balance the navel center. I try to practice at least one of these every morning. It is really through repeated effort that we can obtain the greatest benefits and have a strong navel center bank account to draw from in times of need.

Here is one exercise that works wonders for me and it is called Stretch Pose. Although it is quite challenging for me, I know that after practicing it in the morning, I have the strength, energy, and fortitude for the challenges of the day.

You can begin by lying on your back and placing your arms at your sides. Engage the root lock by lifting the muscles of the anus, sex organs and navel point. Ensure that the navel point is pulled in firming up your strength and connection to the floor through the low back. Bring your shoulder blades down your back so that the neck and chin can slide back into a position with the heart lifted. Raise your head and legs six inches up, allow the arms and fingers to straighten, with the palms facing each other, slightly over the hips. Point the toes, and keeping your eyes focused at the tip of your toes, begin Breath of Fire, which is a rapid, equal in and out breath through the nose. I suggest practicing this for 1-3 minutes. It is advised to not practice this if you know you are pregnant or on the heavy part of your menstrual cycle.

To modify stretch pose, bend the knees to a 90 degree angle and lift them up so the hips are bent and your thighs are perpendicular to the floor creating a table top with your lower leg. This allows you to engage your navel point without putting pressure on your low spine.

(1) Yogi Bhajan, The Master's Touch (Santa Cruz, NM: Kundalini Research Institute, 1997), page 286


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from Spiritual Seeker 77



Jewellery Allergy: Causes, Home Remedy, Ayurveda Treatment

Article by Prof. MS Krishnamurthy MD (Ayu), PhD. In this era of fashion even though the crazy of gold and silver is slightly decreased, significant inclination is found towards artificial ornaments. Artificial ornaments or jewelries are sold in the names like-fashion jewelry , artificial jewelry, antique jewelry, trinkets, junk jewelry, fake jewelry, fine jewels, copper jewels, […]

from ayurvedic home remedies, healthy lifestyle, health tips


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Charaka Trividha kukshiya Vimana: 2nd Chapter: Food Quantity, Ama

The 2nd chapter of Charaka Vimana sthana is called Trividha Kukshiya Vimana. It deals with the determination of specific characteristics of the stomach capacity together with its 3 parts.  Specific Characteristics of Stomach Capacity:  अथातस्त्रिविधकुक्षीयं विमानं व्याख्यास्यामः||१|| इति ह स्माह भगवानात्रेयः||२|| athātastrividhakukṣīyaṃ vimānaṃ vyākhyāsyāmaḥ||1|| iti ha smāha bhagavānātreyaḥ||2|| We shall now explore the chapter on […]

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Sensitive Skin: Diet Changes, Ayurvedic Remedies, Medicines

Article by Prof. MS Krishnamurthy MD (Ayu), PhD. Quite commonly we get the patients who are complaining of one or other simple skin problem repeatedly. They complain of burning, itching, numbness, discoloration, pain, irritation etc. Many a time it does not need any medicine. Whereas in few conditions immediate medicines are to be taken or […]

from ayurvedic home remedies, healthy lifestyle, health tips


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Hospice Philosophy and Palliative Care To The Terminally Ill

By Ms Usha Shinde. “There is a limit to cure, But there is no limit to care” This is the philosophy of Hospice.  What is a hospice? “A  place where the terminally ill patients are kept for symptom control and pain management.”  But the answer is not complete yet. Hospice is a place where terminally ill […]

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Cancellation of our Question Time in Durham later this year | 27 June 2016

Following discussion with ME North East, who were going to host this year’s MEA Question TIme meeting in Durham on Saturday September 17, we have reluctantly decided to cancel the meeting this year.

The main reason for doing so is the decision by the General Medical Council (GMC) to suspend Dr Nigel Speight from taking part in clinical or any other medical activities involving ME/CFS.

In addition, we have been unable to find a local paediatrician with the necessary knowledge and experience of ME/CFS who could take Nigel’s place.

Jane Colby, from The Tymes Trust, is also unable to get to Durham this year.

The ME Association regards input and information on children and adolescents with ME/CFS to be a vital component of these meetings. Consequently, we felt we had no option but to cancel the meeting on this occasion. We are sorry for any disappointment that this will cause.

We intend to resume normal MEA Question Time service in 2017 – when we hope that Dr Nigel Speight will be able to return to his role as paediatric adviser to the MEA as well as being able to resume helping children and adolescents with ME/CFS.

We are currently discussing the possibility of holding the 2017 meeting in Yorkshire.

Dr Charles Shepherd
Hon Medical Adviser, ME Associatio

from ME Association



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from Spiritual Seeker 77



How to Feel Good Enough (When You Feel Anything But)

Woman hiding

“There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path. Don’t allow yourself to become one of them.” ~Ralph Marston

I recently had a personal conversation with someone who was describing some struggles they were experiencing. In passing, they mentioned “It’s okay for you, you’ve fought your battles” and went on to talk about how I’m married, I’m working in a career I love, and I’m “successful.”

Listening to them, I could feel my heart breaking, partly for them: I know what it’s like to compare my insides to someone else’s outsides and find myself severely wanting.

But I also felt a deep sadness tinged with frustration, because their assumption was so far from the truth.

While I am incredibly grateful to have the relationship, the professional opportunities, and everything else I have—and it’s true there are some battles that are now in my past—there are also plenty of challenges I’m still navigating. The biggest one by far is around feeling good enough; feeling at peace and fulfilled with who I am and what I’m doing in life.

For a long time, I used external achievement to buoy my sense of worthiness. Underneath that, however, hid a lot of shame and anxiety, because I thought I was somehow deficient compared to other people. I felt a constant need to reinvent myself and be more than I currently was to keep up with those around me.

Feeling good enough (and defining what good enough is) has been one of my biggest struggles and something I’ve realized will possibly be a lifelong process.

I’d like to share some of my experiences and talk about a few things I’ve found helpful for my own ongoing journey. If you also struggle to feel good enough as you are, I hope they are helpful for you too:

1. “Good enough” looks like different things in different contexts. 

I used to set myself up for failure by telling myself something needed to be perfect to be good enough. Now, I’ve learned “good enough” exists on a spectrum, influenced by the situation, the context and other things that are happening in life, as well as my well-being, my values, and my priorities.

In her book Succeed, psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson explains it’s more helpful to focus on “getting better” rather than “being good.”

When we focus on the latter, we tend to tie our self-worth to achievement and see ourselves either as a success or a failure. With the former, we are more open to the idea that skills, capability, and achievement are malleable things we can influence with our beliefs and behavior.

When I tell myself the story that something has to go exactly to plan or it’s a total failure, I’m less likely to try things, I’m less open to feedback that will help me improve, and ultimately, I’m less likely to grow.

If I try something and it doesn’t work out, it might feel painful in the short-term, but I know I’ll feel much better (and prouder of myself) looking back and knowing I’ve tried than looking back at a missed opportunity.

I’ve also learned that it’s important to define “good enough” on my terms. Other people might have different ideas about what it means and looks like, but I can’t control that. Equally, there will always be someone who is smarter, more talented, more accomplished, more X and more Y than I am. The only person it’s helpful for me to compare myself to is me, yesterday.

2. I focus on who I want to be more than what I want to achieve.

Unhooking my self-worth from external achievement is still a work in progress, but one of the things I’ve found most helpful is focusing on the bigger picture. Sometimes this looks like asking myself, “How important is this particular thing going to be to me in ten years’ time?” (Usual answer: not very!). More often than not, it involves shifting from thinking about doing to being.

While many of us place a huge amount of stock on external achievement, there are usually many variables beyond our control that influence the outcome of a situation. Even if we do our best and do everything right, we might still feel “not good enough” because those external variables mean we didn’t get the gold star or top prize.

What we do have control over, however, are the qualities we embody. When I find myself slipping into “not good enough” thoughts, I find it helpful to stop and ask myself: Who do I want to be today? This reminds me I want to show up in my life as a creator, not as a victim, with compassion, not judgment, and calmly and wholeheartedly, rather than fighting an internal war.

3. I focus on all the things I’m getting right (as well as the things I think I’m getting wrong).

My inner critic is a champ at highlighting all the things I’m doing wrong and all the ways I could improve, usually with a big helping of shame and judgment on the side. A big part of my journey has been learning to turn down the volume on this part of my internal dialogue and turn up the volume on the part I call my inner mentor.

My inner mentor is also good at pointing out things I could improve, but she does it with a very different tone.

She is also a lot more question-orientated (while my inner critic throws statements around like confetti) and tends to ask open-ended queries like “How could you approach that situation differently in the future?”

She also balances constructive criticism with acknowledging all the things I’m getting right too.

I encourage my inner mentor with simple exercises like keeping a “have done” list (as opposed to a “to do” list) and taking time each week to reflect on positive experiences, new opportunities, things I feel proud of, and lessons learned.

 4. I remember just because I think something doesn’t mean it’s true.

Like my companion at the beginning of this post, I can feel very alone when I’m in the grip of a “not good enough” episode.

During these times, and especially with the prevalence of curated social media feeds, it’s easy to look at other people’s lives and make all kinds of assumptions and judgments about how well things are going for them, even feeling a teensy bit resentful about how challenging our life feels compared to how easy theirs seems.

Having spent the best part of the last decade working with emotional support in one capacity or another, I’ve realized that “good enough” is not the result of circumstance, achievement, money, or success.

The Latin root of the word compassion is “suffering with.” Everyone feels like or fears they are not good enough at some point or another. Fearing that we are not good enough doesn’t make us not good enough; it just makes us human.

Remembering this helps me feel less alone, which enables me to start gently challenging that voice and asking “Is that really true?” “What are the other alternatives here?” “How would I respond if my best friend was telling me this?” and “Who would I be without this belief? What would I do differently?”

Finally, I’ve learned there isn’t a “one size fits all” way to feel comfortable and enough within ourselves. There are many different paths to the same destination, and the right path for us is the one that fits our values, feels truthful, and helps us connect with whom we truly are.

How do you navigate feeling not good enough in your own life? I’d love to hear what you find most helpful, so leave a comment and share your thoughts.

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About Hannah Braime

Hannah Braime is a coach and writer who believes the world is a richer place when we have the courage to be fully self-expressed. She shares practical psychology-based articles, tools and resources on living a full and meaningful life over at Becoming Who You Are. Get free access to workbooks, audios and much more when you join the community.

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The post How to Feel Good Enough (When You Feel Anything But) appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

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