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Sunday, 31 July 2016
OM SHANTI. OM Peace. #peace #om #omshanti #yoga #yogi #yogini...
OM SHANTI. OM Peace. #peace #om #omshanti #yoga #yogi #yogini #spiritual #spirituality #spiritualhealing #reiki #reikihealing #reikimaster #crystalhealing #aromatherapy #aromatherapist #wellness #holistic #holistichealth #miami #yogamiami #namaste
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Golden Rutilated Quartz Will Amplify Your Thoughts
Golden Rutilated Quartz amplifies your thoughts, helps you identify your desires. Use the power of intention to manifest, boost creativity, aid contact with the Divine mind for Divine inspiration.
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Learn Clairsentience & Psychometry For Psychic Communication
Clairsentience is the psychic power of sensing or feeling psychically or spiritually. Psychometry is touching an object & doing psychic reading. Creates clear feelings to use & follow in life.
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Saturday, 30 July 2016
Use Celestite To Contact Guardian Angels & Develop Psychic Ability
Blue Celestite is calming & uplifting, balances energy, aids contact with guardian angels in the celestial realm. Develop psychic gifts of prophecy, clairaudience, clairsentience & clairvoyance.
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Part 2 Toward Nirvana and From Nirvana, by Professor Masahiro Shimoda
In order that you may gain a clear understanding of the idea of the bodhisattva, I would like to turn your attention to a long-standing discussion in the scholarly world regarding an erroneous belief widely maintained by contemporary scholars. According to their understanding, the bodhisattvas of Buddhist scriptures belong to two almost mutually exclusive categories...
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Jul 30, Restoring Your Digestive Health
Are digestive troubles making you miserable? Restoring your digestive health with natural indigestion remedies and sensible strategies can help.
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Happy Saturday! #affirmation #divinelight #spiritual...
Happy Saturday! #affirmation #divinelight #spiritual #spirituality #spiritualhealing #reiki #reikihealing #reikimaster #yoga #yogi #yogini #yogapractice #miami #yogamiami #energyhealing #meditation #meditate #metaphysical #newage #energyhealing #love #peace #wellness #holistic #holistichealing #holistichealth #crystalhealing #aromatherapy #aromatherapist #om #namaste #namaste
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Friday, 29 July 2016
Crystal Books, Reviews Of The Best Books About Crystals
Read reviews of top crystal books. My choice of the best & most in-depth books on crystals & stones. Reading books about crystals helps you to decide the best crystal or stone to use for self healing.
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The Other Higher Powers
I'd be rich if I had a dollar for each time I recommended the twelve steps to someone who countered by saying I can't do the steps because I don't believe in God.
And God is what they mean by "Higher Power"—right?
Not necessarily.
Chemical addiction has never been an issue for me, yet I've used the 12-Step program to address other troubles, such as negative thinking, eating disorders, and chronic fear.
I know it's not for everyone. And for me it's a work in progress, as in all these years, all these attempts, I've never reached Step 12. But even the first few steps can be transformative, providing new perspectives on persistent problems
Yes, this "higher power" business troubled me at first. I parted ways with deities half-lifetime ago, when my father who always ate right and who never smoked or drank suffered a stroke. Watching Mom watching Dad unable to speak sensibly or even sit up, then three weeks later watching him die, I felt all faith drain from me as fluid flows through a sieve.
The speed and certainty with which this occurred made me wonder whether my faith had always been false. I had believed that I believed—not in Jehovah, but in goddesses, about whom I had just (ironically) authored a book.
Dad's death felt like a punishment: incomprehensibly, senselessly cruel.
The emptiness of its aftermath shocked me. Then a friend joined Alcoholics Anonymous. The twelve steps, as she lived them, seemed to me beautifully versatile, practical, spiritual—even individualizable. I never was a joiner.
My friend, an atheist, launched a daily meditation practice which she deemed her higher power. This idea opened twenty million windows in my mind.
I stopped feeling ashamed of being faithless, stopped hating myself for feeling helpless. I stopped raging at myself for never having fixed—all by myself—the many life-limiting habits hardwired into me, in infancy, by my self-hating mother.
Step 1 asks participants to declare themselves "powerless," incapable of healing without help. From whom?
Well, Step 2 says: "a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
Not God. Not even "lord" or "deity." Granted, some later steps say "God," including Step 3, which provides the careful frame "God as we understood Him." (The steps are written in the past tense—"made," "asked," "understood"—which looks awkward, but implies a sense of accomplishment.)
Because they were written by American Christians in the mid-20th century, the steps are limited linguistically and conceptually. Their authors may or may not have ever pondered other spiritual paths, but I think what they meant by "Power greater than ourselves" and "as we understood him" was: whatever you believe is right or kind or magical or supernatural or fun or heroic or good.
Outside AA or its variants, this higher-power concept can apply to any crisis in which we feel helpless. Sorrow, sickness, loss, rejection, fear: Sometimes these feel like "hitting bottom," and we cannot crawl out on our own. For those of us who cannot pray, that higher power in those moments might be music. Running. Foreign-language flash cards. Working well. Footage of whales, Mars, Paris. The fact that forests exist.
A hobby. A relationship. A practice. A promise. A memory—even just one, which shines brightly enough to make us believe its ilk will happen again.
If we believe in nothing—as depression, trauma and self-loathing tend to make us do—our higher power might be whatever we love. If even that sounds too expansive, then: whatever we like slightly better than ourselves.
Whatever intrigues, inspires or distracts us.
That tiny difference between us and whatever-else becomes a form of faith.
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Best Natural Medicine For Anxiety: Courage
Winter of 2004. I was nearing the end of my internship, after 4.5 years of BAMS. By that time, my mother had achieved one of the big things in her life. She had made her son, an Ayurveda doctor. Everyone was cheering her. “In spite of death of your husband at a very young age, […]
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Mantra. To learn more check out my articles in my blog about...
Mantra. To learn more check out my articles in my blog about mantras. http://ift.tt/2aubqd5 #mantra #spiritualhealing #spirituality #yoga #yogi #yogini #yogaeverydamnday #meditate #meditation #mala #japameditation #holistichealing #holistichealth #wellness #miami #miamiyoga #reiki #energyhealing #om #namaste #namaste🙏
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#affirmation #healing #spirituality #mindbodysoul #meditation...
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Happy Friday! Yoga for the mind body and soul! Contact me for...
Happy Friday! Yoga for the mind body and soul! Contact me for private session! #yogaeverydamnday #yogini #yogi #yoga #healing #miami #miamiyoga #yogamiami #305 #wellness #holistichealth #holistichealing #natural #meditate #meditation #spiritualhealing #spiritual #spirituality #mindbodysoul #om #namaste #namaste🙏
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TGI Friday!| Our weekly round-up of recently published research abstracts | 29 July 2016
From the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, published online 19 July 2016.
Enhanced psychological flexibility and improved quality of life in chronic fatigue syndrome/myalgic encephalomyelitis
Sarah Densham(1), Deborah Williams(2), Anne Johnson(2), Julie M. Turner-Cobb(1)
1) Department of Psychology, University of Bath, Claverton Down, Bath, UK
2) The Royal National Hospital for Rheumatic Diseases, Royal United Hospitals Bath, NHS Foundation Trust, Bath, UK
HIGHLIGHTS
* Interdisciplinary group treatment may improve quality of life in CFS/ME.
* Psychological Flexibility (PF) has applied utility in the treatment of CFS/ME.
* Changes in PF activity/occupational engagement suggest greatest benefit in CFS/ME.
Abstract
OBJECTIVE
Psychological Flexibility (PF) is a relatively new concept in physical health. It can be defined as an overarching process of being able to accept the presence of wanted/unwanted experiences, choosing whether to change or persist in behaviour in response to those experiences. Associations between processes of PF and quality of life (QoL) have been found in long-term health conditions such as chronic pain, PF has not yet been applied to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (CFS/ME).
METHODS
Changes in PF, fatigue severity and QoL were examined in one hundred and sixty-five patients with CFS/ME engaged in a six-week outpatient interdisciplinary group treatment programme. Participants were assessed using a series of self-report measures at the start of the start (T1) and end of a six-week programme (T2) and at six months follow up (T3).
RESULTS
Significant changes in PF and QoL were observed from pre-treatment (T1) to post treatment follow-up (T2 and T3); changes in fatigue severity were observed from T1 to T3 only. Controlling for fatigue severity, changes in the PF dimension of activity/occupational engagement were associated with improvement in QoL at six month follow up (T3) but not at six weeks post programme (T2).
CONCLUSION
Findings indicate an interdisciplinary group treatment approach for people with CFS/ME may be associated with improved QoL, processes of PF and fatigue severity, supporting a link between PF and long term health conditions. Results highlight links between PF and patient QoL in CFS/ME and the value of interdisciplinary treatment approaches in this patient population.
From the Journal of Cardiology, 28 January 2016.
Down-regulation of renin–aldosterone and antidiuretic hormone systems in patients with myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome
Kunihisa Miwa
Miwa Naika Clinic, Toyama, Japan
Abstract
BACKGROUND
Central nervous system dysfunction associated with myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) has been postulated as the cause of chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). A small heart or reduced left ventricular volume with reduced cardiac output has been reported to be common in patients with ME. The main circulatory blood volume regulators may be down-regulated.
METHODS
Plasma levels of the neurohumoral factors that regulate circulatory blood volume were determined in 18 patients with ME and 15 healthy subjects (Controls).
RESULTS
The echocardiographic examination revealed that the mean values for the left ventricular end-diastolic diameters, stroke volume index, and cardiac index as well as the mean blood pressure were all significantly smaller in the ME group than in the Controls. The mean plasma renin activity (1.6 ± 1.0 ng/ml/h vs. 2.5 ± 1.5 ng/ml/h, p = 0.06) was considerably lower in the ME group than in the Controls. Both the mean plasma aldosterone (104 ± 37 pg/ml vs. 157 ± 67 pg/ml, p = 0.004) and antidiuretic hormone (ADH) (2.2 ± 1.0 pg/ml vs. 3.3 ± 1.5 pg/ml, p = 0.02) concentrations were significantly lower in the ME group than in the Controls. Desmopressin (120 μg), a synthetic version of arginine vasopressin, was orally administered for five successive days to 10 patients with ME. In five patients (50%), the symptoms of orthostatic intolerance during a 10 min active standing test were ameliorated in association with a significant increase in urinary osmotic pressure and decrease in heart rate. Furthermore, in five patients (50%), the performance status scores for the activities of daily living were improved.
CONCLUSIONS
Both the renin–aldosterone and ADH systems were down-regulated despite the existence of reduction in cardiac preload and output in patients with ME. Desmopressin improved symptoms in half of the patients.
From the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 16 July 2016.
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A UK-based review of recommendations regarding the management of chronic fatigue syndrome
Miriam Mallet(1), Eleanor King(1), Peter D. White(2)
1) Barts and the London School of Medicine and Dentistry, Queen Mary University of London, London, UK
2) Wolfson Institute of Preventive Medicine, Barts and the London School of medicine and Dentistry, Queen Mary University of London, London, UK
HIGHLIGHTS
* There were marked discrepancies between patient and professional sources’ views on treatment recommendations
* Patient organisations preferentially recommended medicines, pacing and complementary treatments
* Medical organisations recommended rehabilitation therapies
Abstract
OBJECTIVES
Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) is a controversial illness, with apparent disagreements between medical authorities and patient support organisations regarding safe and effective treatments. The aim of this study was to measure the extent of different views regarding treatments, comparing patient support organisations and medical authorities in the UK.
METHODS
Two independent raters analysed two groups of resources: UK patient support websites and both medical websites and textbooks. A 5-point Likert scale was developed with the question ‘With what strength does the source recommend these treatments?’ The various treatments were divided into the following four groups: complementary and alternative medicine (CAM), pharmacological, rehabilitative, and pacing therapies.
RESULTS
There were significant differences between the scores for patient support organisations and medical sources for all 4 treatment groups. The results for supporting CAM were 74% (patient group) vs 16% (medical source) (p < 0.001), 71% vs 42% for pharmacological (p = 0.01), 28% vs 94% for rehabilitative (p < 0.001) and 91% vs 50% for pacing treatments (p = 0.001). CONCLUSIONS There were substantially different treatment recommendations between patient support organisations and medical sources. Since expectations can determine response to treatment, these different views may reduce the engagement in and effectiveness of rehabilitative therapies recommended by national guidelines and supported by systematic reviews.
The Pharmacogenomics Journal, 26 July 2016.
Genetic variation in catechol-O-methyltransferase modifies effects of clonidine treatment in chronic fatigue syndrome
K T Hall, J Kossowsky, T F Oberlander, T J Kaptchuk, J P Saul, V B Wyller, E Fagermoen, D Sulheim, J Gjerstad, A Winger and K J Mukamal
Abstract
Clonidine, an α2-adrenergic receptor agonist, decreases circulating norepinephrine and epinephrine, attenuating sympathetic activity. Although catechol-O-methyltransferase (COMT) metabolizes catecholamines, main effectors of sympathetic function, COMT genetic variation effects on clonidine treatment are unknown.
Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) is hypothesized to result in part from dysregulated sympathetic function. A candidate gene analysis of COMT rs4680 effects on clinical outcomes in the Norwegian Study of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in Adolescents: Pathophysiology and Intervention Trial (NorCAPITAL), a randomized double-blinded clonidine versus placebo trial, was conducted (N=104).
Patients homozygous for rs4680 high-activity allele randomized to clonidine took 2500 fewer steps compared with placebo (Pinteraction=0.04). There were no differences between clonidine and placebo among patients with COMT low-activity alleles.
Similar gene–drug interactions were observed for sleep (Pinteraction=0.003) and quality of life (Pinteraction=0.018).
Detrimental effects of clonidine in the subset of CFS patients homozygous for COMT high-activity allele warrant investigation of potential clonidine–COMT interaction effects in other conditions.
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How High Expectations Can Lead to Disappointment, Depression, and Anxiety
“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ~Alexander Pope
I was sitting on the couch in my bedroom, at sunset, looking at the trees outside my window. I felt a profound sadness, frustration, disappointment, and desperation taking me over.
While I was staring into oblivion, all my expectations came flashing to my mind.
“No, this is not what my life was supposed to be. I was supposed to be successful. I was supposed to have my own house. I was supposed to be happy. What happened?”
What happened was that I am part of the majority, not the exception.
My entire life I expected to be the exception. I assumed that if I worked hard enough I would succeed; if I did well in university I would succeed; if I poured my heart and soul into something I would succeed; my dreams could come true.
I had become a slave to my expectations, and they were ruining my life.
In my mind, things were supposed to be different. My great expectations were robbing me of happiness, because I wasn’t where I wanted to be, I didn’t have what I expected to have, and I wasn’t who I expected I should be.
The truth of the matter is that there are few people out there who are lucky enough to be living their dreams.
Most of us survive on crumbs of our expectations. We have a job, even if it’s a job we don’t like. We work from nine to five every day to pay the bills. If you’re lucky, you get to go on a vacation once a year, and for the very lucky, two of them.
Statistics show depression and anxiety are on the rise. I am part of those statistics, along with 350 million other people who suffer from the same hell I do.
How could depression and anxiety not be on the rise when we are constantly bombarded my repetitive messages that tell us about all the great things we can accomplish?
Of course giving people high expectations is what sells. If beauty creams advertised their products by saying, “It will moisturize your skin and that’s pretty much it,” not too many people would buy the product.
Marketing survives by rising people’s expectations. When the product doesn’t meet up with their expectation, disappointment follows. And so it goes with most things in our lives.
Don’t get me wrong; I truly believe that dreams can come true. The point is that we shouldn’t expect it to happen. If it does happen, it will be a nice surprise. But if it doesn’t and we’re expecting it, we are likely doomed for disappointment and frustration.
Of course it would be amazing if we could all live our great expectations, but we shouldn’t base our happiness and personal satisfaction on them, because there is no rule that says that we will all live to fulfill them. I know this might sound pessimistic, simply because it goes against everything we’ve heard.
We read great stories of people who defied the odds and became a success, but we never read about the people who did their best and failed. Their stories never become motivational quotes and bestselling books, because they didn’t make it.
We never hear their stories about how they put their heart and soul into something and failed, because that doesn’t sell books; that doesn’t sell conferences
Many motivational books and personal coaches survive by rising people’s expectations instead of focusing on finding happiness with what they already have.
Of course meeting our expectations could bring happiness, but if we’re waiting to be happy for that to happen, we might be waiting a long time.
Maybe you’re not Anna Wintour or Marck Zuckerberg and you don’t have a million dollars in the bank.
Maybe you’re feeling frustrated because parenthood didn’t turn out to be what you had expected (it’s tiring and demanding).
Maybe your job is not fulfilling, and at one point you expected you’d grow up to be somewhere completely different from where you are today.
I could sit here and write that you can change everything and you should fight to meet your expectation. I think you should, but you shouldn’t base you personal satisfaction and happiness on that.
I’m here to tell you that it’s all right if you didn’t meet your expectations.
Sometimes life throws curve balls at us, and for some reason or another life didn’t go to plan. It doesn’t mean we have to stop working toward our goals; it just means that we can be happy regardless.
Instead of focusing on what we don’t have, we need to focus on what we do have.
Capitalism shoves down our throats to strive for more, and we obediently follow, only to meet a brick wall and realize how frustrated we are for not being everything the system promised we could be.
Millennials in particular are battling this problem harshly.
We were sold the idea that if we went to college, got great marks, and did tons of unpaid internships we’d be destined for the stars. Instead, millions of millennials have a huge amount of debt from student loans and are finding it hard to find a job. I’m not even talking about their dream job—just a job.
Did you know that millennials have the highest statistics on depression and anxiety ever recorded in history? That’s mainly because we expected to at least have the quality of life our parents had. But things have changed, and now we are not even close to what they had at out age.
Our expectations were too high, and we live in a world where it’s harder to meet those expectations.
It would have been a lot better to break things down to millennials in a realistic way, and if some of them got to meet their expectations, then good for them. But for the rest, we’d know that not all expectations need to be met for us to be happy.
I know you might be reading this and thinking of all the expectations that you had that you didn’t get to live up to. Maybe you’re feeling frustrated and sad.
The best and easiest way to be happy is to work toward our goals but never expect for them to become a reality. It’s a paradox. It’s the duality of existence.
We need a goal and a dream to keep us motivated, but at the same time we need to not expect anything from life. That way, regardless of the outcome, we don’t become disappointed.
I know it kind of goes against the motivational quotes we read, and it especially goes against the greedy perception that has been incrusted in our minds. We are taught to never be content with what we have and to always strive for more. But this greedy mindset is what has many feeling frustrated with their lives.
I’m not saying that it’s good to get comfortable in mediocrity, but to push ourselves to be the best person we can be without expecting a great outcome. To do things because we love doing them, not because we’re expecting something.
It’s like doing a good deed expecting a “thank you.” If the “thank you” doesn’t come, you become disappointed. If you do it regardless of the gratitude, you still feel content.
It’s about being happy while working to be better, not by placing happiness on a goal. You find that happiness in your progress, in your daily life, in feeling grateful for the small things—for having food on your plate, a roof over your head, health, and loved ones to share your life with.
It is about coming to terms with the idea that your dreams might not come true. Making peace with life—that even if it doesn’t allow you to fulfill your dreams, it has given you life, and life itself is a treasure.
As the saying goes, happy people are not those who have the best of everything but the ones who make the best of everything they have.
About Caroline D. James
Caroline D. James is the founder and writer of wanderside.com, where she explores a different perspective to ordinary life.
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Why The Old Adage “Enjoy Every Moment” May Be More Harmful Than Helpful
“In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.” ~Francis Bacon
One phrase my husband and I have heard often since becoming new parents—heck, since I was still waddling my way through my last trimester—is, “It goes so fast,” which is most often delivered by another more seasoned mother with an all-knowing shake of her head and a longing gaze at my once rotund belly or now at our beautiful boy.
We smile and nod, silently agreeing to the harsh reality of time. Which inevitably leads to the dreaded follow up, “Enjoy every moment!” This is usually spoken at a higher, more fervent, almost frantic timber as she smiles hugely at us.
The thing is, I know she means well. I know that her child(ren) must be older and that she has undoubtedly forgotten the reality of the many difficulties with which new parents are faced as they begin to navigate the oftentimes muddy waters of raising a child.
I also now know that because of the prevalence of phrases like, “Enjoy every moment,” many new parents are unable to reconcile the very real conflicting emotions of loving their children so much that at times it is hard to breathe, while at the same time feeling for any myriad of reasons like they don’t measure up. Or that because they aren’t, in fact, enjoying every minute, that they must somehow be failing as a parent and a person.
A couple of months before my son was born I bumped into a friend who I hadn’t seen in a while. The typical conversation between a fairly new mother and woman in late stage pregnancy ensued.
We discussed how I was feeling; she made a fleeting comment about her back labor, encouraging me to be open-minded about any birth plan I might have in place; and then she said something so outlandish and foreign that I couldn’t in that moment find the words with which to respond.
She told me, with great certainty, that there would be things I would endure in the very near future that would be almost incomprehensibly difficult, and that in no way would I enjoy them all.
I was stunned. But it wasn’t that she spoke the truth that stunned me; it was that everyone else I had come into contact with hadn’t.
In that moment, I was more grateful to her than she’ll ever know. Right there, at the entrance to the grocery store, she granted me permission to honestly experience all that lie ahead on the bumpy, blissful path of motherhood.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. At least not in those first few months when every cry my son emitted from his frighteningly fragile little body left me panic-stricken and absolutely sure that I was simply not cut out to be a mother.
Not because I wasn’t doing every possible thing in my power to care for and nurture my boy. But because there is nothing enjoyable about massive hormonal shifts, staggering sleep deprivation, unexpected postpartum anxiety, and three bouts of excruciating mastitis.
It wasn’t until my husband—bless his kind and patient heart—asked me, after one agonizingly long and sleepless night, what I had expected life with a newborn to be that I remembered my friend’s wise, and let’s face it, frightening words.
I realized then my perception of what my experience as a new mother should be had become quite skewed. I also realized that it was thanks to all those well-meaning, “Enjoy every moment” comments that I found myself floundering to make sense of just how I was supposed to manage to do that—and if I was unable to, then surely there must be something inherently wrong with me.
Maybe you think I’m being too literal. Surely everyone knows you can’t possibly enjoy every moment.
Okay sure, I’ll give you that. But I’ll also argue that our words and thoughts carry great weight. And with that weight often comes unrealistic expectations, both of ourselves and of others. This is true for all of us in any given situation, parent or not.
Plus, I think the issue runs deeper than simple semantics. Let’s face it, most of us have spent a large majority of our lives constructing often intricate and elaborate means of avoiding pain and discomfort.
We go well out of our way to escape those pesky emotions that leave us feeling vulnerable. We choose, instead, to focus only on what we, and society as a whole, has deemed “good” or “positive” rather than risk putting our more “negative” thoughts and experiences out into the universe. You’ve heard this, right?
While I am a staunch believer in the power we have to manifest and create our own reality, I am also convinced that we cannot simply bypass the harder, more uncomfortable aspects of the human experience.
It is not surprising then, that it has been in my new role as both an ecstatic and scared new mother that I have found there is absolutely no place in which to escape from anything. After all, my child’s cries of discomfort and/or discontent cannot, in any language or universe, be denied. And this, I have found, is a good thing. It literally keeps him alive.
Well, we were all babies once. Maybe there is a trace of that survival instinct still hibernating within each of us. Maybe our own fears and discomforts are coming up when necessary as a way to keep us alive, too. Or at the very least, to wake us up.
During the first six euphoric and arduous months of my son’s life, I began to awaken to the paradox of my new situation.
I had been granted the greatest gift I will ever receive in this life. It’s true. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Yet it is because of that very greatness that I was unable to allow for the intense feelings of discomfort I felt when faced with the very natural sense of overwhelm that comes with being a new mother.
I, like many others in any number of life’s scenarios, believed that I had no right to feel the tough stuff when I was so obviously blessed with such a massive amount of good.
But just as I believe we need the darkness to appreciate the light, I am also certain that I needed—and must continue—to allow myself to fully surrender to and move through those harder, oh so unenjoyable moments. For it was and is in the moments when I have thought I had nothing left to give that I learned just how good a mother I actually am.
I have learned, time and again, the lengths I will go to for my son. I have abolished the limitations I unknowingly set for myself simply by being faced with staggeringly hard situations and circumstances.
Ironically, It is because of these situations that I now trust myself and my capabilities more than ever before.
It’s unreasonable to think we should enjoy every moment, and that if we don’t, we’re doing something wrong. So let yourself off the hook. You never know, it just might result in you enjoying life’s messy process and all the glorious moments in between that much more.
About Erica Settino
Long-time yoga teacher, activist and writer, Erica Settino is the Founder/Executive Director of the yoga-based nonprofit organization, Karuna For Animals: Compassion In Action, Inc. In May of 2015, she and her husband welcomed their son, Sebastian Bodhi, whom immediately became Erica’s greatest teacher, inspiration and best friend. Learn more about Erica and her work at: Karuna For Animals and Amma Yoga.
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The post Why The Old Adage “Enjoy Every Moment” May Be More Harmful Than Helpful appeared first on Tiny Buddha.
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Prepared myself a sun warrior vanilla banana smoothie. So good!...
Prepared myself a sun warrior vanilla banana smoothie. So good! @sunwarriortribe #sunwarrior #sunwarriorprotein #ambassador #wellness #holistic #holistichealth #plantbased #plantbasedprotein #vegan #vegetarian #healing #yoga #yogi #yogini #yogaeverydamnday
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Thursday, 28 July 2016
Shiva Lingam Increase Vitality & Pranic Energy
Discover Shiva Lingam stone, powerful to stimulate the energy system of the entire body to improve overall health and well being.
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Quick Technique to Boost Self-Esteem | Spiritual
spiritualseeker77: From...
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Indian Oak Tree: Barringtonia acutangula Uses, Research, Side Effects
Hijjala- Barringtonia acutangula Gaertn. is an Ayurvedic herb used for the treatment of fever, diarrhea, intestinal worm, cough, dyspnea, and cases of poisoning. Botanical name – Barringtonia acutangula Gaertn. Family– Lecythidaceae Hijjala – Names in different languages: English name- Indian oak tree, Mango-pine, Barringtonia, Freshwater Mangrove, Indian Oak, Indian Putat Hindi name- Samudraphal Kannada name […]
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How To Improve Your Child’s Sleep? 16 Ayurveda Tips
As per research conducted by University of Houston, children who experience inadequate or disrupted sleep are more likely to develop depression and anxiety disorders later in life. No wonder that Ayurveda has told this fact centuries before – Nidrayattam sukham duhkham. – Happiness (pleasure) and depression (pain) are dependent on quality of sleep. Charaka Samhita […]
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‘Dr Paul’ to quit Burrswood after a 24-year career there but he could be back! | 28 July 2016
Dr Paul Worthley, who met many people with ME/CFS when he was the lead physician at Burrswood Hospital in Kent, will hold his last outpatient clinic there at the end of August.
‘Dr Paul’– as he is widely known – worked at Burrswood for 24 years, ceasing to be the resident senior doctor in 2014.
The charity most involved with Burrswood, the ME Trust, said his departure was a result of the hospital’s “new vision and direction”.
ME Trust founder Hannah Clifton dropped a strong hint that they would be working with Dr Worthley in the future.
“Dr Paul and the ME Trust are committed to offering ongoing help and support for all those with ME/CFS who currently fall through the care net.
“Subject to raising sufficient funding, we will work with others to establish a new outpatient service and a home visiting service. In time, we aim to open an inpatient centre; this is integral to our vision to create a centre of excellence”, she said.
Earlier this year, Burrswood announced the ending of inpatient care for patients with severe ME/CFS towards the end of 2016.
This was put down to difficulties in finding qualified nurses and the high cost of providing such care.
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Tymes Trust succeeds in its outcry about the Scottish ‘Named Persons’ scheme | 28 July 2016
One of the leading opponents of the Scottish Government’s ‘Named Persons’ scheme – which would appoint someone, usually a health visitor or a teacher, to ensure the wellbeing of every child in Scotland – hailed its dismissal by the UK’s highest court as “a victory for every family we represent”.
Jane Colby, executive director of The Young ME Sufferers Trust (Tymes Trust) which joined the legal action against the scheme led by The Christian Institute, was cock-a-hoop when the news came through this morning. The Supreme Court in London rejected the scheme – dubbed “a snooper’s charter” by its enemies – after a lengthy legal process.
“Have you heard the news? It’s fantastic”, Jane told the The ME Association. Lesley Scott, Tymes’s Scottish representative, has been doggedly speaking out against the scheme for some months.
According the BBC News, the Supreme Court ruled that some proposals in the scheme breach rights to privacy and a family life under the European Convention on Human Rights.
The court said the aim of the Act, which is intended to promote and safeguard the rights and wellbeing of children and young people, was “unquestionably legitimate and benign”.
However, judges said specific proposals about information-sharing “are not within the legislative competence of the Scottish Parliament”.
And they said the legislation made it “perfectly possible” that confidential information about a young person could be disclosed to a “wide range of public authorities without either the child or young person or her parents being aware”.
The Scottish Government promised to fix the problems relating to information-sharing and come back with improved legislation. Scottish Education Secretary John Swinney said work would start immediately on the legislative amendments.
Opponents of the scheme appealed to the Supreme Court in London after their case was dismissed by the Court of Session in Edinburgh last year.
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Why We Can’t Have Healthy, Happy Relationships Without Self-Love
“Worry about loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.” ~Unknown
Body image and self-love have been my biggest struggles. They’ve affected every area of my life, including relationships.
I developed anorexia in high school after experiencing a number of losses in a short period of time.
During my high school years I didn’t date much. I had a few boyfriends, but the relationships never progressed because I was afraid of intimacy, due to the fact that I was uncomfortable in my skin and didn’t like my body.
I had body dysmorphia, thinking I was overweight when I wasn’t.
Shortly after high school, I fell into the cycle of restricting and binge eating and used excessive exercise to purge my binges. I hated my body and was obsessed with making it smaller.
About a year after graduating from high school, I entered a relationship with a guy who was very pushy and persistent.
I now know that I never would have entered that relationship had I loved myself.
I remember thinking he wasn’t my type, because he seemed cocky and consumed with his own looks, which actually made me feel uncomfortable. That turned into a five-year relationship.
I looked to this guy for happiness but never got it. I remember so many days and nights of anger, unhappiness, and complete distress. I ignored my inner voice for a long time. I now know that true happiness comes from within, and no one outside yourself has the power to dictate how you feel.
I remember when I first realized I was still struggling with disordered eating, and that binge eating was something others struggled with too. I started seeing a psychologist and I would lie to her about our relationship, as well.
I stayed for too long because I didn’t have any self-esteem, and didn’t know where I would go or what I could do if I left. I didn’t love him. I don’t feel he loved me either, but I did love the idea of him loving me.
I remember the first point at which I thought maybe I could live without him. From there, it took another year for me to leave.
Once I did leave, I knew that I needed to work on myself before I could even think of entering another relationship. I needed to discover who I was, work on improving my body image, and learn to love myself.
I stayed single for three years, which were filled with ups and downs. I eventually hit rock bottom with my disordered eating. That actually gave me the strength to pull myself out of that vicious cycle and helped me realize I needed to change my thoughts and mindset around my body and food.
Over time, I learned to love and accept myself as I was. I practiced authenticity and vulnerability with others and eventually met the man of my dreams.
You see, to be able to attract another emotionally healthy person, I had to first become emotionally healthy myself.
Lack of self-love doesn’t only show up in people with eating disorders, either. Others may have different unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking, drugs, social media, or a shopping addiction.
The important part to understand is that if you struggle with loving yourself like I was, you won’t be able to have a healthy relationship until you can build one with yourself.
So many people feel as though they are running out of time to meet the “one,” but it’s important to take the time to work on yourself instead of focusing on filling the void with another person. If not, you may fall into the trap of settling for less than you deserve, like I did.
So how can we develop self-love?
First, become aware of the thoughts and words you speak that are demeaning toward yourself.
Next, focus on shifting those negative thoughts to a positive thought you can believe. Affirmations are great, but they won’t help if you don’t actually believe them. You can make the new thoughts progressive if you struggle with believing them.
For example; instead of saying, “I love my body,” say, “I am working toward accepting, loving, and honoring my body.” It’s much easier to believe this when you are in the process of getting there.
(For more helping taming your inner critic, check out this post, Create a Kinder Mind.)
Also, try being vulnerable with others and share your imperfections. You will quickly realize that everyone goes through tough times and you are not alone, so there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Just be careful of sharing with the wrong people. Some people don’t get personal growth, or maybe your particular struggle, and they may say the wrong things or judge you.
If this happens, just understand that they aren’t in the same place as you, and don’t let that stop you from being authentic with others. It will help you connect on a deeper level and find the people you want to surround yourself with in life.
Take the time to figure out what your passions are and what lights you up in life. This will help you realize your worth comes from what’s on the inside, rather than what you look like or how much money you make.
Once you start to change your thoughts, it’s much easier to make healthy lifestyle choices from a place of self-love.
It’s easier to eat in a way that nourishes your body and soul.
It’s easier to want to fit daily movement into your life, because it makes you feel good, not because you hate your body and you’re trying to change it.
It’s easier to get to bed on time and get enough sleep every night.
It’s also easier to choose which relationships benefit you and which ones do not.
Self-love cascades into every area of your life, just like self-hatred does. You can choose which way to live, but I can guarantee the challenge of building self-love is well worth it.
About Richelle Ludwig
Richelle Ludwig is a Holistic Nutritionist who helps women break free from disordered eating and body image issues to achieve health and happiness. After years of struggling, she discovered that thin doesn’t mean healthy, and began focusing on nourishing her body, mind, and soul. Get her free eBook, 4 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Struggling With Body Image & Disordered Eating, here.
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True Connection Happens When We Release Cynicism and Judgment
“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.” ~Bill Nye
It’s cool to be a little cynical, right? We’ve all seen the movies; we know an air of ennui and a well-cultivated sneer is all a person needs to get by.
When I was in my early twenties I used to archly describe myself as an “optimistic cynic.” To me, it sounded cool. I was playing in bands, and I’d decided this was how I wanted to show up to the world.
Back then I responded to everything, whether good or bad, exciting or not, through a filter of sarcasm. (And for those who don’t know me, I’m talking British sarcasm here too. The strongest kind.)
Thankfully, though, after years of deep work on myself, I eventually realized that really, in being so cynical, I was just hiding behind a façade, a front. The cynicism was a barrier to protect myself, and ultimately, it halted me making real connections with others, and myself.
I think I first realized this while at university. There was a guy who lived on my floor who was just a really good person.
Andy was happy, friendly, well-liked by everyone. The source of good emotions wherever he went.
At the time, of course, I dismissed his demeanor as an act to be liked, which, as I write this now, I realize was me projecting my own issues on him.
But even then a part of me knew Andy was doing something right. When he’d invite me to things (and I of course turned him down with a sarcastic aside) I felt a little silly, a little humbled by his great outlook and energy, which contrasted so greatly with my self-defeating ‘cool.’
You see, deep down I knew I wanted to do all the things he was doing. I wanted to live my honest truth like he was, but for whatever reason I couldn’t bring myself to let go and just be myself. Andy held a mirror up to my sneer, and I didn’t like what I saw.
I’m glad to say I’m not like that anymore. But it’s still in me on occasion, and I think in all of us if we aren’t careful. It seems more and more, cynicism is becoming the default setting for our collective consciousness. It’s the way to be now in this post-modern world.
Don’t trust people. Don’t show your feelings. Don’t give a damn, frankly.
We live in very uncertain times, so it’s understandable, then, that we’ve learned to question people’s motives. But where this once still bordered on liberal curiosity, it is fast turning to simple mistrust, disconnection, and in many cases, actual fear of others.
It’s a sad situation, and something I feel we all need to be aware of. More so, we need to actively fight against this cynicism and learn to connect with each other again.
A study at Harvard that was conducted over a staggering seventy-five years has proven beyond any doubt that that when it comes to being happier in every way, it’s all about making real connections:
“The more areas in your life you can make connection the better…The study’s most important finding is that the only thing that matters in life is relationships…Happiness is love. Full stop.”
But before we can make powerful connections with others, there’s someone else we need to connect with—ourselves.
When we are disconnected from ourselves, we lose our power and our confidence in our abilities; thus, our ability to trust ourselves diminishes. And if we can’t trust ourselves, how can we trust others?
So, we need to take the time to discover our own wants and desires and to connect fully with our core values. When we have this self-knowledge a lot of other things quickly fall into place.
You can practice this in small ways too. Take time throughout the day to engage in a tech-free walk in nature and get your peripatetic system working. You’ll be surprised how quickly you connect with your truth when you’re completely alone with no distractions of any kind.
Meditation, too, is a great way of just being with yourself fully. You’ll often find you have great insights once you actively create some silence for a short period and calibrate yourself. In this way, we can quickly become a person who is so focused on their path that cynicism never even gets a look in.
When we connect with the vision we have for ourselves, we gain clarity and can then relax, become more comfortable, and begin to create real connections with the world outside.
When you take the time to do this, you make peace with yourself, and it is from this positon of power that you can create powerful moments with other people and become the source of good energy wherever you go.
You can start this today: Practice actively connecting with people on a deep, powerful level. Look into their eyes just that extra second longer; give a hug that has real emotion behind it, a handshake that lasts a little longer than normal, or a comment that hits just right.
With every person you talk to from now on, make a connection. Create a moment. Turn off the rest of the world and just, warmly, be with them.
Do this right and it’ll feel like you’ve made time stand still. You’ll soon realize how great you not only make others feel, but how great you feel yourself as your connection and empathy for the world grows.
Because flip back to the “cynical optimist” version of me you met at the start, and you’d see someone who regularly reacted badly to others, who got annoyed easily.
I’m sure we all have had those times when other people have riled us—the man on the street walking too slowly in front of us or too close behind us, the rude checkout girl who can’t raise a smile, the work colleague who makes bad jokes or talks too much.
We know that getting annoyed only ultimately harms ourselves. If something annoys you, that’s on you. And while we might think we’re displaying dominance and superiority by getting annoyed, really, all we’re doing is giving away our power and becoming disconnected to others and our true, better selves.
Researchers have dubbed this fundamental attribution error, which states that we tend to give too much weight to someone’s personality or disposition in explaining their behavior in a given situation.
In other words, we all too often take one single thing that someone does and use it to make a judgment on their entire persona. I’m sure you can agree that this does not help at all in creating honest connections with our fellow humans.
We need to combat this bias whenever we can. A great technique I found, that immediately helps us feel more present and connected with others, is to consciously reframe the event.
When you feel yourself getting a little antsy, rather than stewing on it and becoming disconnected and wound up, simply change the story.
That man walking too fast behind you? He’s late for his new job and is a little worried about what his new boss will say.
The sulky checkout assistant? They’ve just split up with their partner and feel heartbroken.
If someone annoys you, tell yourself a story about why they are doing what they’re doing, and reframe it in a way that you can relate to.
In this way we can all learn to be a little more empathetic, a little more connected, a little nicer even.
And like I say, living this way really is a win/win situation all round; as you grow more connected with yourself and your environment, your own power and confidence will grow as a result. So create moments, reframe the stories you tell yourself about others, and show up in the world as a source of great emotions.
That’s something we can all connect with.
About Matt Richards
Matt Richards is an expert at helping people reach the top levels of success. He shows them how to think bigger, focuses on their genius and then guides them towards achieving their biggest dreams. If you’re ready to go all in, you can start today. Get Matt’s new ebook free: Power-Up Your Day. Actionable Steps For A More Productive Life.
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New Stones Added Beginning with P
Did you know that I regularly write short paragraphs about new crystals I obtain & add them to my site? As there are so many stones listed on my site, they are categorized alphabetically.
Recently there were new stones added to the O to P page. You can read about Peruvian Blue Opal... pictured on the left, Pink Apatite, Phlogopite, Psilomelane and a few more.
Did you know how to learn if I have written about a specific stone anywhere on my site? Simply put its name into the search box, located at the bottom of most pages.
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Wednesday, 27 July 2016
Throat Chakra Aids Communication, Hearing, Listening & Speaking
The throat chakra is where communication abilities emerge. Related to hearing, including psychic hearing. See list of throat chakra stones & crystals to help you. Aids truthful honest communication.
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Learn Survival Guide with Crystals - Crystals
Learn Survival Guide with Crystals
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7 steps to happiness - Holistic health
7 steps to happiness
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Happy Wednesday! #holistic #holistichealth #meditation #meditate...
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Buddhism | Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. #quote
Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. #quote
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3 Ways to Tell If You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship
“The harder you fight to hold onto specific assumptions, the more likely there’s gold in letting them go.” ~John Seely Brown
It was Christmas night and I was ecstatic. He would be there any minute.
I touched up my gloss and gave myself a quick once over in the hallway mirror. Despite having had a hearty dinner at my Mum’s, my stomach was flat and my dress fit me like a glove, enveloping my curves perfectly. I was ready and raring to go.
Glancing at the clock, I wondered where he was. I double checked my phone to see if he’d text, but no—nothing. Oh well, he was only twenty minutes late. It was fine. He had probably just been held up or something.
I went and sat patiently on the stairs, looking at the front door and willing the doorbell to ring.
Two hours later he showed up. No apology, no nothing. I didn’t even get a kiss.
He staggered in, obviously drunk, and asked if there was any food. I led him into the living room and said I would go fix him something. Grunting in response, he made himself comfortable while I headed into the kitchen.
As disappointed as I was, now was not the time to pick a fight.
Colin was never reasonable when he’d been drinking, and I didn’t want a repeat of last time; I didn’t want to upset him.
I suppose I should have been grateful he had decided to come over. After all, he didn’t have to, did he? What was important was that he had, which was good enough.
He did like me really, but he just had a lot on his plate, and it was up to me to be strong and support him. He didn’t mean to hit me; I just needed to stop being so provocative and expecting too much.
That was my problem: I was always looking for trouble and couldn’t just be content with what I had.
Running back into the living room, I lovingly gave him his food and watched him wolf it down, pleased that he was satisfied and enjoying it. It made me happy seeing him happy.
He put his plate down and looked over at me. My heart started beating faster and I got nervous. He beckoned me over, and I eagerly went and sat on his lap to embrace him.
It didn’t matter that he had been late; he was here now.
I nuzzled against his neck and breathed him in. This was all I wanted, to be with him, and it was moments like this that made it worthwhile. All the other details were irrelevant. For as long as he wanted me, I would always be there for him, giving anything and everything I had to make it work.
Colin was my world, and that was how it would always be.
Almost ten years on and my eyes are wide open to what that relationship was all about. I was in such need of love from a man that I was willing to take any small amount of breadcrumbs tossed in my direction.
That was how it was for years. All the men I got involved with were only out for what they could get, and I accepted it because I genuinely believed that was the best I could have. It’s only looking back now that I realize I was the better half, and I shouldn’t have settled for such treatment.
Matters of the heart are always complicated, but when they’re drowning amongst insecurities and fear, they’re often more destructive than anything else.
I know how easy it is to convince yourself that you are with someone because, deep down, they love you. Manipulators are experts at deceiving people, but we are even better at deceiving ourselves, especially when we long for that truth with all our hearts.
3 Non-Negotiable Factors
I’ve had the worst kind of relationships, but from them, I have gleaned three crucial pointers in identifying a healthy vs. unhealthy one.
Reciprocation
Who provides what in the relationship emotionally, physically, financially, etc.? Are you the one making all the effort?
Your time and energy is just as precious as anyone else’s. Are you being appreciated in the way you should be?
Your Feelings
On a scale of one to ten, how do you feel around this person most of the time?
In what way do they benefit and enrich your life?
Can you be yourself when you’re with them?
Do they make you feel good about yourself and love you for who you truly are?
While no relationship is perfect, for the most part, they’re meant to be a source of joy and pleasure that add value to our lives.
Hopes and Dreams
How do you feel about the longevity of this relationship?
Imagine twenty years from now, if your relationship continues as it’s been; would this future be in alignment with your own goals and plans?
Does your partner support and share your vision for the future?
Do they encourage your self-development or hinder it?
If you cannot picture long-term happiness in all areas of your life with this person in it, you need to question how much you are prepared to sacrifice to have a life with them.
Be True To Yourself
These questions should enable you to obtain some perspective.
If your partner is worth the emotional investment, that’s wonderful. If, on the other hand, you instinctively know this is a bad set up, the best advice I can give you is to end the relationship as soon as possible.
It’s similar to removing a Band-Aid; it will hurt, but it’s best done quickly and without delay. Speaking from experience, the reality of them vacating is never as scary as you imagine it will be.
Stay true to yourself and don’t just accept things for how they are. I was completely intoxicated by all my ex boyfriends, but only because I allowed myself to be, and they took advantage of that. As soon as I decided to cut all ties, they disappeared almost instantaneously.
Be strong and know that you are worth so much more than you believe. If you lie to yourself that everything is okay, you are prolonging the pain and simply postponing the inevitable.
Take some control and free yourself from a life of guaranteed hurt and misery. Any short-term pain will be outweighed by the bright future, full of love and light, that is waiting for you. All you need to do is make the choice to allow and receive it.
About Holly Lochinger
Holly is the founder of thinktranquility.com, a website focused on personal development and finding peace amongst life’s chaos. Holly has recently qualified as a life coach, specializing in life purpose, love, and relationships. Her goal is to help people follow their dreams and reach their full potential by sharing her own experiences and breakthroughs with self-help.
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What Not to Say to Someone Who’s Going Through a Breakup or Divorce
“Good friends help you to find important things when you have lost them…your smile, your hope and your courage.” ~Doe Zantamata
Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is one of hardest, if the not the hardest, trial you might be faced with in life. Unfortunately, unless you’ve experienced it firsthand, it’s very hard to believe this statement.
For most of my fifteen-year relationship, I didn’t believe it. Sure, I commiserated with friends who were suffering through breakups, but I did so with a superiority complex, a judgment about how they got themselves into that situation through relationship neglect.
Thankfully, I kept thoughts such as this one to myself: “Wow, get over it already. It’s been a year, and it’s not like he died!”
Since separating from my husband (and childhood sweetheart) a year ago, I’ve learned some incredibly humbling lessons about love, people, grief, and healing, and I feel compelled to pass some of this wisdom on, specifically my insight into how to be a good friend to someone who’s relationship is ending.
Below, I share three hurtful comments that well-meaning friends said to me during my separation, and three things that I was lucky enough to hear from other friends that I still treasure to this day.
1. Aren’t you over that yet?
WHAT NOT TO SAY:
“I thought it was you who ended it, so why are you still moping about?”
“It’s been six months and you’re still sad. Why don’t you see a therapist and get some pills or something?”
“You were much more fun before all of this happened.”
“You’re sobbing quite loudly, and people are looking…”
I get it. Friends are more fun when they’re not crying into their warm Mimosas at brunch. You naturally want your friends to be happy and to feel better soon, but the timeframe of “soon” is different for everyone.
Sadness, anger, denial, and depression are all very normal and healthy stages of the grieving process, and healing may take weeks or, more commonly, years.
We want and need to feel supported and accepted, regardless of our mood. Being around people (especially friends) who are unhappy can be unsettling, but please know that we don’t need you to fix us or even cheer us up. We just want someone to hold our hand now and then.
The grieving process takes different lengths of time for everyone. Please respect that whatever you consider the right amount of time to be, even if it was right for you, might not be right for me.
WHAT TO SAY:
“You’re dear to me whether you mourn for the next ten years or if you get married again tomorrow. Regardless, I’ll be there to share your journey. Here’s a tissue.”
2. It’s Contagious!
WHAT NOT TO SAY:
“I can’t imagine being single again at our age.”
“My partner and I are very secure. We haven’t missed Friday date night in four years.”
“I didn’t invite you, as it’s only going to be other couples. I don’t want you to feel weird or left out.”
“Don’t try and put any crazy ideas into my partner’s head. Keep your tantalizing dating tales to yourself please.”
Divorce/separation can’t be caught like a cold or an STD. This might seem blindingly obvious, but when announcing the end of your relationship to your married/committed friends, their defensive or threatened reactions can make it seem so.
When we swallow our grief and be vulnerable enough to share with you that our relationships have ended, we are not suggesting that you should do the same. It is not your cue to defend your relationship, or the merits of long-term partnership in general.
We are not actively seeking new single-friend recruits to hit the club with, and we don’t want you to drink the divorce-spiked Kool-aid. Equally, we are not trying to seduce your significant other and steal him as an oftentimes flabbier and more hygiene-challenged version of our ex.
Everyone’s relationships are different. Some work and others don’t for an equally innumerable amount of reasons. Your friend needs a shoulder to sob against not one with a chip on it.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
“You’ll never be a third wheel, and regardless of your relationship status, you’re our friend. Let me know how I can best support you.”
3. The devil is in the details.
WHAT NOT TO SAY:
“What went wrong? Tell me everything!”
“Did he cheat on you? Did you cheat on him???”
“Are you getting the house, the car, the kids?”
“I think I saw your ex yesterday at the store; he’s lost weight, hasn’t he? I wondered what he was doing with that beautiful blonde twenty-something…”
Events as painful as separation can provoke extreme behaviors and reactions. Destruction of property, custody battles, wars over friendships or property, or beloved pets.
I have been guilty of watching ‘car-crash’ TV too; however, most of us recently separated are not auditioning for the cast of the next Real Housewives!
We’re not looking to relive the often heart-breaking drama for anyone’s amusement, so please don’t ask for all the gory details or even for an explanation. There’s never just one, easy-to-define reason a relationship ends; there’s rarely a neat single-sentence summary.
It’s never black and white; instead, it’s grey and messy, and oftentimes the justification and reasoning is not even clear in your own head, let alone trying to justify or explain it to someone else.
In the same way you wouldn’t hammer a recent widower for all the juicy details, please show a little restrain when talking with the newly separated.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
“I’m so sorry you are going through this sad time. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. If you need a martini and a non-judgmental ear to natter to, I’m here, with no questions asked.”
—
A quick note; like me this article is intentionally a little cheeky and exaggerated in parts, but even if you’re guilty of some of the friendship crimes I’ve listed, fear not! This is not intended as persecution.
As someone who slipped up in the past, I know first-hand that there is very little guidance for those closest to those experiencing the end of a relationship. Know that it’s never too late, though. Reaching out today with the right words can make a real difference.
The past twelve months have been the most challenging in my life, and I’m very blessed and happy to say that I was (mostly) surrounded with loving and supportive friends.
There were times when I feared I would never get my mojo back, never feel joy or love again, but I’m starting to laugh more and cry less, and am finally finding my feet again.
Now, I look forward to being a supportive, caring, and nonjudgmental friend for others experiencing this long and tiring transition.
For those just starting the process of separation or a little way down this path, know that you will get through this, little by little, day by day. Don’t try and rush your healing. Give yourself the gift of time and respect as you work through the muddy waters of heartache.
No matter how dark and lost you feel, please take my word that eventually, at the right time for you, you will find happiness again. And the support from your friends along the way will be a reminder of how worthy of love you truly are.
About Sarah-Jane Dalby
Sarah-Jane was named after Doctor Who's companion in the cult British TV show, but call her SJ. She’s a storyteller who loves to communicate through film/TV, writing, painting/design, photography, and more. She’s a devoted yogi, passionate world traveler, random dog cuddler, and dark chocolate tester. (That last one is unofficial, but she’s a very committed amateur!) She’s also an Aussie mate, so say G’day on Instagram @woozysatsuma.
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The post What Not to Say to Someone Who’s Going Through a Breakup or Divorce appeared first on Tiny Buddha.
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Tuesday, 26 July 2016
Aqua Aura Quartz Is Quartz Bonded With Gold
Aqua Aura Quartz is created by bonding gold with quartz. Amazing high vibration, aids communication, clairaudience, automatic writing and brings emotional healing and spiritual growth.
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Jul 26, Keys to Happiness in Life
These 10 keys to happiness will help you unlock the door to feeling more satisfied and content with your life. People who rate themselves as happiest ...
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SIBO Treatment Hacks: 5 Mistakes You Don’t Know You’re Making
If your SIBO treatment isn’t working, it’s important to figure out why. SIBO – otherwise known as small intestine bacterial overgrowth – is an infection within the small intestine. And treatment usually involves antibiotic drugs. When you have SIBO, you have either too much bacteria living in your small intestine. Or you’ve got the wrong […]
The post SIBO Treatment Hacks: 5 Mistakes You Don’t Know You’re Making appeared first on Holistic Squid.
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SIBO Treatment Hacks: 5 Mistakes You Don’t Know You’re Making
If your SIBO treatment isn’t working, it’s important to figure out why. SIBO – otherwise known as small intestine bacterial overgrowth – is an infection within the small intestine. And treatment usually involves antibiotic drugs. When you have SIBO, you have either too much bacteria living in your small intestine. Or you’ve got the wrong […]
The post SIBO Treatment Hacks: 5 Mistakes You Don’t Know You’re Making appeared first on Holistic Squid.
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Eating for Peace in the Body
We can all agree that living in peace and cooperation beats living in conflict. It turns out that our microbiome, (that community that lives in our gut), is either existing as a cooperative agent or a conflicting threat to our overall health and vitality based on the food we eat.
Interesting research is emerging that suggests the makeup of our microbiome affects many factors of our health, from behavior, to allergies, to our weight. A new study by Athena Aktitpis and her colleagues at Arizona State University, found that how we feed ourselves, or the nutrients that we provide to our microbiome, affects whether or not that community will participate in a symbiotic relationship with its host, that is to say, with our body.
Since the amount of microbes in our gut number about the same as human cells, it certainly makes sense to do everything in our power to keep them living in peace. A cooperative relationship between the two leads to health in the body, whereas conflict, essentially a competitive environment, with both sides fighting for nutrients, leads to higher levels of inflammation, metabolic disease, and cardiovascular disease.
Aktipis stresses that our gut microbes change and react in response to the nutrients we provide them. When there is peace in our gut, the microbes help to filter out substances that are harmful to us, and help to create energy for our cells to use. In return, our gut provides an environment that is conducive to a healthy microbe community.
One of the ways to throw this balance off is to eat too much fat and sugar. These nutrients tend to feed the microbes that cause illness, such as E. Coli. When combined with a low fiber diet, this type of eating encourages the growth of microbes that increase competition rather than cooperation in our gut. Prolonged competition can lead to increased inflammation, which leads to poor health.
Dr. Raphael Kellman, author of The Microbiome Diet (Da Capo Press), suggests that to encourage a robust and healthy microbiome, begin by removing inflammatory, allergenic, or reactive foods, including soy, dairy, and gluten. He also recommends removing trans fats, hydrogenated fats, all sugars and artificial sweeteners, and environmental toxins.
Once the foods that are contributing to imbalance in the gut are removed, Kellman recommends that you re-inoculate with probiotics, either by taking capsules or by eating fermented foods that contain live bacteria; including raw sauerkraut, kimchee, and kefir. In addition to probiotics, he encourages eating prebiotics, which help the healthy bacteria to thrive. Again, these can be taken in capsules, and are also available in fiber-rich foods such as asparagus, jicama, leeks, carrots, and jerusalem artichokes.
The fact that changing the way we eat can dramatically affect our health is not a new idea. However, by deepening our understanding of the process in our body, and choosing to promote peace within, on a microbial level, we can support ourselves in living with more vitality and less disease.
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Tom will be pounding a long and distant road – could you put him up for a night (or two)? | 26 July 20126
Tom Hunt hopes to get into the record books – AND to raise funds for The ME Association this autumn. He aims to become the youngest person to run between Land’s End and John o’Groats in just 31 days.
His training is going well and his fundraising is going brilliantly – he has already raised nearly £4000. http://ift.tt/29WTOGS
But his expedition planning has hit a hitch as the motor home he had hoped to borrow has not materialised. So he urgently needs places to stay along his route.
This would involve meeting Tom at an agreed point (liaising by phone), and giving him a place to stay for the night. His needs are few – a shower or bath, somewhere perhaps to wash his socks, a carb-packed meal and a bed. And then a lift back to where he stopped running the day before.
He is planning on running approximately 30 miles per day, so it may be that someone terribly kind might even be able to have him for 2 consecutive nights.
THIS IS HIS ROUTE – subject to change however due to weather and blisters….
Wednesday 24th August Land’s End (before the run starts)
Thursday 25th Redruth
Friday 26th Bodmin
Saturday 27th Launceston
Sunday 28th Okehampton
Monday 29th Tiverton
Tuesday 30th Bridgwater
Wednesday 31st Bristol
Thursday 1st September Monmouth
Friday 2nd Hereford
Saturday 3rd Clungunford (near Ludlow)
Sunday 4th Shrewsbury
Monday 5th Whitchurch
Tuesday 6th Warrington
Wednesday 7th Preston
Thursday 8th Lancaster
Friday 9th Kendal
Saturday 10th Penrith
Sunday 11th Canonbie (just north of Carlisle)
Monday 12th Ettrick (halfway between Peebles and Moffat)
Tuesday 13th Peebles
Wednesday 14th Edinburgh
Thursday 15th Glenfarg (south of Perth)
Friday 16th Dunkeld (north of Perth)
Saturday 17th Calvine (north of Pitlochry)
Sunday 18th Etteridge (south of Kingussie)
Monday 19th Carrbridge (south east of Inverness)
Tuesday 20th Inverness
Wednesday 21st Lamington (north west of Cromarty)
Thursday 22nd Brora
Friday 23rd Latheronwheel (south of Wick)
Saturday 24th John O’Groats
If you are able to help, please could you make contact direct http://ift.tt/2aHt5v9
or via our fundraising manager, Helen Hyland – helen.hyland@meassociation.org.uk
Thank you so much for your support.
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